Kai’s Birth
I chose to have a homebirth because I am intimidated by hospitals, I don’t like the way they smell and I imagined having our baby in my bedroom to be a very sweet and warm welcome for our little one. We met with Sybi for the first time when I was 12 weeks pregnant and knew after our first conversation with her, that she was right for us.
We created a friendship and bonded with Sybi throughout the pregnancy with lengthy prenatals and wonderful birthing classes. When I got to 36 weeks, the world flipped upside-down and Covid-19 started to change all the hospital protocols and social norms. We started our quarantine and so did Sybi and her assistant, Heidi. We did a couple of our prenatals over the phone after Sybi showed us how to do some things on our own and left us with the necessary tools. It was so sweet to have my partner, Cavan, checking our babies heart rate for a couple of weeks.
At 38 weeks, we decided to meet at our home for the prenatal to make sure we had everything we needed for our birth. Sybi made me feel a lot more comfortable about all of the fears I had running through my mind about having our baby amidst a worldwide pandemic and the possibilities of having to go to the hospital.
Two days before the due date (on the day the OBGYN had given me for a due date when I found out I was pregnant), I woke up at 3:30am to some cramping and quickly noticed a rhythm. I timed them for about thirty minutes before waking Cavan to let him know, telling him not to get too excited as it might be false labor like I had experienced a week before. He stayed awake with me for another forty five minutes and I texted Sybi to let her know what was going on. She told me to go back to bed and try to get some rest and to let her know if the contractions changed.
I layed down and put on a hypnobirthing meditation that helped me sleep between contractions. By the end of the hour long meditation, the contractions started to intensify and I began to hold Cavan through each rush. At 6:05am, my water broke in our bed! It was quite a surprise but we immediately told Sybi and she encouraged both of us to get as much rest as we could because we would need our energy.
Cavan made us a little breakfast and started to prepare the birthing pool. It didn’t feel like much time had passed when I told him I needed him to be with me through each passing rush. He was my rock. I let deep guttural sounds flow out of me and it seemed to help me surrender to the pain. I was feeling all of the contractions in my right hip and down my right leg.
It was about 10:30am when we asked Sybi to join us. The contractions were getting closer together and much more intense. I moved to the couch in hopes a new position and a change in scenery might help. Sybi arrived around 11am and the contractions felt like they were back to back. I will never forget the relief I felt when she massaged my thighs through some of the contractions.
I think she was a little surprised how far along I was and she quickly called Heidi to come over. They encouraged me to move to the toilet, and as soon as I did, I felt like I completely opened up. I stayed there for a short time and they set up the bed for me. When I got there, Sybi checked my dilation and told me I was making great progress. She suggested some homeopathics (for what she believed was a slightly swollen anterior cervical lip) and I trusted her advice. It felt like it was almost instantly that I began to feel like pushing. Sybi and Heidi told me to trust my body. The contractions were spaced out now and I was falling asleep in between them. I remember telling Sybi that the rushes felt different, they felt good. A few minutes later, Cavan’s mother showed up unexpectedly and he went outside to talk to her. While he was gone, I had a contraction and yelled, “I feel something! Is that the baby?” Sybi told me yes but that she saw something pink and asked that I try not to push on the next contraction. The presenting part moved back up and out of sight until the next contraction so she was uncertain of what she seeing. She thought it might be my cervix coming in front of the baby’s head and she needed to push it back to allow the head to come through. Cavan came back in time to hear her explaining this to me and I told him the baby was coming!
The next rush came and I tried not to push. I felt something emerge and heard Sybi say, “It’s a foot!” “WHAT?! IT’S A FOOT?!?” “Yes, it’s a foot! Heidi, call 911.” “Saturn, you need to get on your hands and knees.” Sybille gently instructed.
Cavan began stacking pillows under my chest to prop me up. Heidi held the heart rate monitor against my belly and Sybi told me to try not to push until the paramedics arrived. I kept asking if the baby was ok and Heidi kept reassuring me, as we all listened to the heartbeat.
I don’t know how much time passed but the paramedics arrived after a few contractions and Sybi told us we were going to birth the baby right there. She told me to move to the footof the bed and to get into a supported semi-squat position. They helped me get there and held me up, Heidi holding one leg, a female paramedic holding the other and Cavan holding my upper body. On the next contraction, I pushed out the baby’s hips and other leg; then everything but the head. As we waited for the next rush, Sybi could no longer feel the umbilical cord pulsating so she looked up at me and told me I needed to push. I said it hurt and she said “Saturn, you need to save your baby’s life and push right now.” I pushed. I pushed with all of the power I’ve ever had and roared our sweet little baby into this world. The head came out and was immediately followed by the placenta, all in one rush. They placed the baby on the bed next to Cavan and then I heard a cry. Someone said, “He’s alright” and that’s when I found out it was a little boy.
I was lifted back onto the bed and Sybi put him on my chest. Cavan and I spent the next couple of hours just laying in bed bonding and loving him, while Sybi and Heidi cleaned up the house and gave us our privacy. Sybi and Heidi joined us in a cord burning ceremony and left us comfortably in our home.
I wouldn’t have wanted our birth to go any other way. Our surprise breech birth was beautiful and the likelihood that I would have been given the chance to have a natural breech birth in a hospital is slim to none. I am forever grateful for Sybi, Heidi and the paramedics for creating such a calm and safe space to bring our child into the world, foot first!
Allison’s Testimonial
We had planned to have our first child and new we wanted to have a homebirth. We found Mountain Lake Midwifery through the Vermont Midwives Association. Before contacting Sybille we looked over her website and watched a video she had posted from a local radio show interview. We were impressed by her years of experience and also to hear first hand experiences of Northeast Kingdom mothers she had worked with. From our first visit with Sybille we knew that we had found our midwife and wanted our little one to be another one of Sybille’s ‘Kingdom catches’. I had concerns from previous reading that I may be considered ‘high risk’ as I was about to turn 40. Sybille explained in detail her approach to caring for women and that age is not of concern as long as the mother is healthy, eating well and through our prenatal visits she would be checking important vitals as well as recommending certain tests in order to determine early if there were any concerns that needed to be tracked and/or addressed. Sybille outfitted us with helpful real life videos and reading material from her home library which got us off on the right start from the beginning and made us even more convinced we could do this. She also counseled us on how to handle concerns from family members including recommended reading materials for concerned extended family members.
Her prenatal care included health checks on both mother and baby. The first time I heard my baby’s heart beat was very emotional and it was comforting to be surrounded by caring people in Sybille’s lovely home. Our prenatal visits were conducted at Sybille’s home as well as our home in the last trimester. Sybille’s assistant Isabelle was a welcome addition to our 9 months of care. She hails from Quebec and provided her unique perspective and experience including her personal home birth experiences. Both women brought their personal expertise and we felt comfortable asking any questions we had. The birthing courses and material provided were very helpful including charts of what effacement looks like and demonstrations on how possible complications would be handled and ensured we had an emergency plan in place. Our little girl was born at home a week after my due date. Sybille and Isabelle were both there to help me through my labor including ensuring I drank and ate throughout so I would have the strength to make it through. They massaged me through my ‘rushes’ (i.e. contractions) which was amazing. Isabelle provided a birthing chair which I used to deliver our little girl the next morning. The encouragement and care we received both during labor and post was top notch. They did a thorough evaluation of both mom and baby, cleaned up everything and ensured we had detailed instructions for post partum care. I am so glad I decided to do the placenta encapsulation service as well. The capsules have helped provide a boost of energy and critical nutrients to me and my daughter as we nurse together. We whole-heartily recommend Sybille and midwifery supported home birth to every mother.
My First Birth Experience
The fact that I can remember so many details after 34 years is proof of how much our birth experiences impact our lives. So, in honor of this long passage of time I am now going to tell you the story of my own first birth experience as I remember it.
I was 28 yrs old when I had my first baby. While pregnant – I felt healthy and strong. I dutifully went to a local physician for my first prenatals and after a few visits – felt uncomfortable and unhappy. There was probably 30 minutes+ of waiting in a closed examination room, then under 5 minutes of time with the doctor. My discomfort was especially confirmed after checking out the labor and delivery area in the hospital and saw a plastic “thing” up on the wall that looked like a wash basin in the shape of a small body with straps at the feet and wrists and asked the nurse who was giving me the tour – “what is that for?” She just casually said, “Oh, that is for circumcision!” I thanked her for her time, walked out of the Labor & Delivery area, found the stairs, walked out of the building, into the parking lot and just started crying. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I did not know what I was having – a boy or girl, but there was no way that I was going to have my baby in such a cold environment that took so casually the act of strapping a baby boy down in order to cut off his foreskin. I went home and wondered what I should do. I needed to find a midwife. There were no homebirth midwives on Nantucket. So I put a classified ad in the next issue of Mothering Magazine – “Wanted – midwife to assist at a homebirth on Nantucket Island end of July/early August”, with contact info, etc… and got a call from a midwife from Duxbury and we made a plan to meet. She said she usually does not take first time mothers (because she said they take so long!) – but agreed to assist me since she figured I would be in labor for a while so could get to me in time. The other stipulation – would come if we could organize a way to fly her down to the island from Duxbury – then she was on board. Luckily for us our Norwegian friend, Rolf, was a flight instructor and had access to a prop plane and was ready to meet the challenge! I continued my prenatal care alternating with the local general practitioner and with her – traveling to the mainland when needed. She came for a home visit towards the end of my pregnancy. I was so lucky to have come up with a plan. I was feeling safe, secure and ready to have my baby at home.
My due date was August 3rd. I just kept on putting off thinking about the birth and assumed that I would go late since this was my first baby. Rob and I did attend some of the childbirth classes offered at the hospital but really felt isolated being we were the only couple planning a homebirth. Folks looked at us strangely. To add insult to injury – the nurse teaching the classes introduced herself at the first class by stating “hmmm, since there are 10 of you mamas, odds are at least one of you will end up with a c-section!” (these days it would be more like 3-4!) Thanks for that affirmation of a woman’s ability to give birth! So as you can imagine – we started playing hooky from some of the classes. Even a surprise baby shower organized by friends was held at the same time as one of our classes – Rob making an excuse about car trouble so we had to turn around and come back home…
So come the day of labor. Unexpectedly, I start getting cramps a few days before my due date – July 30th! That day I had been harvesting blueberries with my 7 yr old step-daughter, Christi, in our secret place w/blueberry tree just down the road. We were baking blueberry pies at around 7:30 PM when I started feeling cramps every 5 minutes on the clock. It was a surprise. I thought I was going to go 10 days to 2 weeks late! I am feeling what is like period cramps but I am uncomfortable since I had never even experience period cramps ever! I am miserable since this kind of cramping is all new to me. I was not happy and was uncomfortable. To add to the stress – for some reason the phone (land lines only in those days) stopped working at the house where were living (in the middle of conservation land) so we went to the closest restaurant in Madaket and called our midwife from there to let her know what was happening. Her response – “Go to bed, call me if your membranes rupture or you see bloody show.” What? My contractions were not enough to have her jump into readiness, pack her bags and come to me? Nope. She simply advised me to go to bed and sleep, and do not call unless either of those things occurred. Luckily the phone company took care of the communication problem so there was one less thing to worry about but I was still miserable. How could I sleep through these cramps? No way! But guess what – I did. I went to bed and woke up every 5 minutes through the night but after each one fell asleep again. After a while I even slept through some of them. Rob would put pressure on my back since I was feeling it all there. It helped me remain calm and sleep. I was amazed at how “clock work” it was. Each time I would wake up I would look at the clock on my night table and it was exactly 5 minutes since the last one started. How could our bodies be so precise and clock like? I was amazed, but also miserable.
Morning and daylight comes. I see some bloody show so we call Toni. Things fall into motion as to getting her here to the Island. Rob and I go outside and take a few photos of me in the moors at sunrise just outside the door and my soon to be no longer pregnant belly. I did enjoy being pregnant so was feeling a little nostalgic for the belly at this point and havng to say “good-bye”. It was a hazy hot humid summer morning. Back in the house Rob proceeds to entertain me by vacuuming our bedroom. He tries to make me laugh. I had never seen him clean our room so I have to admit it was funny but it was hard to laugh. I admitted to him that I was scared and he tried to comfort me. At some point maybe around 9 or 10 AM Toni arrives and she checks my cervix. I am 3 cms dilated. For some reason I feel totally discouraged. By that news. After waking up every 5 minutes all night long, back labor to boot, all I am is 3 cms? I was miserable. Little did I know that this stage is what takes the longest! Getting effaced and those first few centimeters can take days so in reality – getting to 3 cms is a big deal! For some women it can go quickly without even feeling the slightest discomfort – but for others, especially first time mothers – every step of the way is felt. Toni and her assistant Anne set up supplies near my bed and I looked at the items from the corner of my eye, tinctures, vials of whatever, etc… midwifery stuff, but it gave me a sense of relief. Seeing them there made me feel safe. Everything was in place just in case.
The time ticks by, one contraction after the other, they keep getting stronger and I learn to tolerate and find new ways to deal with the increasing pain. Toni also helped me by massaging my cervix open when I was approximately 5 cms and got me to 7 cms. I was glad for any help I could get. I thought the breathing techniques they taught me at the hospital Lamaze classes would help but seemed to be causing more harm than good. I thought the shallow rhythmic breathing would make it easier – but in retrospect it was probably distracting me and stopping my body from allowing things to progress. It was not something that I could escape. I remember hyperventilating and then Toni having me breath in my own hands (or was it a paper bag?) for a while to get things back to normal.
I tried going outside to take a walk but it was hot out and the walking made things even more intense – I was feeling overwhelmed and felt I needed to stay close to the house. My back was in so much pain. I never had experienced pain radiating out from the inside of my body before so was dealing with so many new sensations. My baby was in a posterior position but I never knew it until labor. Neither the local doctor nor Toni ever told me. I wish I had known so that I could have done exercises to try and change that prior to labor. As a result my baby’s head was putting additional pressure on the nerves of my lower spine. I could not tolerate anyone touching my back. My energy field was so sensitive that I could even feel the heat of their hands approaching me from behind me before they tried to touch me. Forget anyone sitting on or rocking the bed! Just the lightest rocking of the mattress would cause it to hurt even more.
I do remember that Dr Leo Sorger was on Island visiting a friend and he and Toni were in communication. He was an amazing MD who was supportive of midwives and it was reassuring to know he was there not to come and help – but for my midwife to talk to if needed. At some point things were strong enough that Toni suggested that I get on my hands and knees for the next contractions. Doing so caused something to change and I was relieved of some back discomfort. Sometime after 6:30 pm (?) I guess I was going through “transition” and was getting fully dilated. I was feeling weepy and wanted to sit on the toilet. I felt like I was having a bowel movement – but it felt like trying to pass a football – and that was scary! There was also some protein in my urine and I got upset thinking that that was bad. Little did I know it was normal and was caused by blood. I remember going back into the room and Toni said I could start pushing if I wanted to. I did feel the urge – but was afraid I wouldn’t know how. I tried, but felt lost and frustrated. She offered to check my efforts by feeling the head with her fingers as I pushed. I tried again, and she looked up at me, shook her head in what looked like disapproval and said, “No, no, no – that is not how you do it.” That made me angry. Maybe she did it on purpose to help me center myself and get my efforts going harder but I just remember being mad and thinking “grrrr…. I am going to show you!…” It must have helped me release and surrender to the process because all of a sudden I was working with my body during the contractions and I was feeling really powerful. I was also grateful that I was not alone and that Rob and two of our friends were with me as I went through this amazing experience. I felt their hands on my body, protecting me and giving me strength. Rob behind, and one friend on each side. I felt balanced and my body aligned. At one point Toni asked me to touch the baby’s head and I said “no way!” I was in another realm – and just could not be distracted. It took me only 15 minutes to push my 10 lb baby out! I saw his face as he was lifted up and registered that he looked like my dad from one of his old baby photos. Yes, this was my baby! Once he was out I felt totally relieved, even more so after I delivered the placenta. I apologized to those in the room for having cried earlier – and they all laughed. My son was big and beautiful and I was proud of myself. 24 hours from start to finish. I felt totally connected with the energy of the thousands of generations of women before me who did it this same way and I was glad I did it all at home.
9 Pounds 8 Ounces of Sweetness
I was a full week over my “due date” and didn’t feel anything happening yet. I was starting to feel discouraged and uncomfortable.
Every day Paul would say,
“Do you feel anything different happening today?”
I would say,
“I don’t know. Maybe….”
We spent our days keeping busy, resting, feeling peaceful, trying to avoid people and their irritating comments and just waiting for our beautiful little gift to arrive.
It was Saturday morning. My older two children were with their father until the next day. Our wonderful midwife, Sybille came and visited us. We talked and decided to try a membrane sweep to get things moving. We knew that if my body was not ready to give birth, it wouldn’t do much, but maybe it would. Afterward, we hugged her and went for our regular Saturday walk to the farmers market. I felt medium contractions all the way there and while we were socializing and choosing from the colorful goods that the farmers sold. We bought brilliantly hued gladiolas and some vegetables for a squash soup. I was feeling the contractions come and go rather regularly and saying a silent prayer that it was finally the day that we would get to meet our baby. On our way home, we stopped in the local grocery store to buy a couple of things and a woman in line looked at me and said,
“Are you in labor?”
I told her to leave me alone. I was in early labor and I knew it. I just wanted to return to our nest. The contractions continued all the way home and stopped during lunch. We fed ourselves and Pip (our sweet 2 year old son) and put him down for a nap.
We made it a peaceful afternoon. We put flowers in vases around the house, made love and worked together in the kitchen to make a squash soup for dinner. I called my mom. It was sort of fun preparing a meal while feeling an occasional contraction. I made extra knowing that we would need the leftovers the following day. I knew our baby would be here. As the afternoon unfolded, I had more of those medium contractions and some bloody show. I stayed home and quietly cleaned and finished the soup in preparation for what was to come….Pip woke up, we spent time together, had dinner and put him to bed for the night. All while in early labor. I would breathe through my early labor contractions, think about our baby, remind myself to stay calm and continued with our normal activities around our home. I kept waiting for my water to break, as it is how my other 3 labors began, but it is not the way this one happened.
I cannot remember when early labor turned to active labor, but I am thinking it was sometime around 9:30 when the pains were very strong. Paul and I tried to watch T.V. in bed, but I couldn’t even focus on our show. We called Sybille and asked her to join us. While we waited for her, Paul set up our birth pool. Each contraction came on like a strong tidal wave almost knocking me to the ground, and I felt them in my lower back. I walked around our hallway and bathroom and leaned against the wall for support every time one came, and tried to show Paul how to put pressure on my back to help ease the pain. In between these giant tidal waves, I walked around casually, trying not to dread the next rush.
It was the night of a full moon. A big glorious full moon. Not that I noticed.
When the pool was ready for use, I stepped in and lowered myself down. It cut the pain by about 50%. It always does for me. I labored in the dark silence, moaning deeply (I think) and Sybille arrived shortly after I got in. She and Paul got birth supplies situated and made sure I had what I needed. I was feeling mostly independent. I eyed the lavender oil on the table nearby, but I didn’t have the strength to reach up to grab it and add some to the warm water. It took all of my strength to stay calm, breathe and keep myself open (and not tense or tight) for the baby to pass through. The contractions were feeling very strong now, and though I stayed calm and open, I was a little scared. I admit it. If I could go back in time, I would probably have my mother join us for reasons I cannot explain….
We had the window open, and I could hear people partying and having bar fights across the street at the local crappy bar. I know the birth soundtrack was playing, but it was quiet and I didn’t have any strength to ask for it to be turned up. The contractions were really close together and feeling too strong to do anything but focus on them and nothing else.
I felt nauseated and knew I was going to throw up, which I had prepared Paul for. “When I throw up, it means I am in transition.” I had told him, but neither he or I thought that’s what this was. As I threw up, my vagina felt really open and it scared me a little, but I kept it relaxed and let it do its opening thing.
Suddenly I felt the large head coming down and out. It was an intense feeling, and I could tell she was really large. I announced to Paul and Sybille that the baby was coming out, and I think my voice had a very deep, throaty timber to it. There was no going back now. This enormous baby was barreling out of me fast.
The rest was intense and fast, but I think I was squatting with one leg out to the side. I was short tempered and rude with Sybille at this point. I kept barking at her to stop touching me, even though she was not actually touching me. She was behind me with a flashlight trying to see what was happening. The birthing of this baby felt so intense, I think I felt that any touching would add to the intensity and make it hurt more. “Stop touching me!” I kept shouting. I pushed the baby out with just a few short but strong pushes. The baby came out into the water right in front of my body and I grabbed it out really fast and put it to my chest. I felt such excitement. The feel good hormones were surging through my body as I fell in love with my baby. After about 5 minutes of taking in our beautiful baby, i thought to look at its sex. I asked Paul if he was ready to look. He nodded and I pushed the huge umbilical cord aside to see that it was a girl. We cried.
Born exactly at midnight. Short, intense, amazing birth. Many thanks to the Universe for giving me this daughter in such a glorious way. She will be my last baby.
Josephine Joy. We wanted you beautiful girl.
9 pounds 8 ounces of sweetness.
Neoma’s Birth Story
Neoma was born ten days late, so I was starting to get worried that she would have to be born at the hospital (Vermont doesn’t permit licensed midwives to do home births after a baby is two weeks past due). Sybille suggested that we try an herbal induction. I was ready to try whatever would get things moving, so Sybille met with us to explain what to do and give us the supplies for the 3-day process that she finds works well. On the final day of the induction, Sybille came to our house to administer the rest of the ingredients. I was feeling some mild contractions (like the Braxton Hicks I’d been feeling for months) but they went away when I was lying down. Sybille suggested we all take a nap in case we ended up being awake throughout the night. When we got up for dinner, the herbal induction started to take effect. It was not pleasant – I didn’t even make it all the way to the bathroom – but I was still feeling excited that things were happening. Then we sat around… and waited.
As I was showering before bed, I felt the first real contraction – so much, much stronger than anything I had felt before – I was surprised and a little scared by how powerful it was. The next contraction was close behind, and the next one after that. I felt like I couldn’t get my breath long enough to even get dried off and get out of the shower. For some reason, even after all the time spent waiting for labor to start, my only thought was “I have to lay down so these contractions stop.” I called for Will (my husband) to go get Sybille, and went into the bedroom still wet. As soon as I sat down on the bed my water broke. Everything in me wanted to get up and walk around. I went back to the shower again and Will came in and held me during the contractions so I could go totally limp. Will kept saying “breathe, breathe,” which seemed silly because my body felt like it wasn’t really mine to control. Of course I was going to breathe – otherwise I’d suffocate! I think I told Will to “stop telling me what to do.” I tried to go limp and let my body take care of itself. The only advice that seemed to make sense was from my friend Jen. She had told me to make low sounds, to “get under the contractions,” so I started moaning (I got quite loud by the end) and that really did seem to help.
Each contraction felt exponentially stronger than the last. It didn’t seem like I had been in labor for very long, and it suddenly occurred to me that I would probably be having contractions for eight hours more, or even longer. I thought, “I don’t know if I can do this for that long.” In between contractions, I said – “Will, I need a pep talk.” Just then, Sybille’s assistant Heidi arrived. I was happy that she was there, as she seemed to know the right thing to say to calm me down. It turned out I didn’t need the pep talk after all though, as in the next contraction, my body started pushing the baby out. I just said – “Heidi, I’m pushing.” Sybille asked if I wanted to go back to the bed. My legs suddenly felt like jelly, and that sounded like a great idea.
I laid on the bed with Will as a backrest and my feet on Sybille’s knees so she could see how far along I was. She could already see a tiny bit of the head! With each contraction I could feel the baby moving out. I felt a rush of energy as I realized I was almost done. Sybille got a mirror, and I could see a big patch of the baby’s head. It even had hair! It seemed like only a few minutes later that I pushed out the head. Then the rest of the baby came out so quickly that I thought “I hope Sybille caught it!” It felt like I might have squirted her across the room! Sybille immediately laid the baby on my stomach. She looked so big and strong that I could hardly believe that she had been inside me just a second before. She let out a little cry, so I moved her head over to my nipple. She latched right on and started sucking, and kept on nursing until late that night. I didn’t even see her eyes until the next day! I looked at the clock and saw that it was only two and a half hours since I got into the shower the first time and my labor started in earnest. After all that waiting, how quickly it happened in the end!
Both Will and I feel so lucky that Sybille was here to be our midwife. What a different experience we would have had if we had had a hospital birth! For one thing, assuming Neoma would have come as quickly, we probably wouldn’t have made it to the hospital in time. It would have been so stressful laboring by ourselves and trying to guess when to start the drive. If we made it to the hospital, I would have given birth in a room full of strangers, without any assurance that my wishes would be respected. I might easily have bent to the pressure to have an epidural, a decision I would have regretted, and which might have cost my speedy labor and Neoma’s strong start at breastfeeding. Instead, the months of lengthy, chatty prenatals where I got to know Sybille and Heidi made me feel like I was being attended by old friends. I will also treasure that first morning we had at home together, all three of us cuddled up in our own bed getting to know each other – rather than chafing at the confines of a hospital room. Having a homebirth was definitely the right decision, as it gave us full ownership of this once-in-a-lifetime experience. I’m grateful that it was an option available to us.
Nicole’s Birth Story
My first child was born via c-section as I “failed to progress” at the hospital. The whole experience left me feeling defeated, weak, and unsupported. Shortly after having my daughter Robin, I was eating lunch at the local health food store and saw Sybille’s business card. I took it right off the wall, stashed it in my wallet, and knew that next time would be different.
So next time came. I started my prenatal care with the local ob-gyn office but quickly my husband and I decided that we needed to build a different path to go on. Expecting something different but doing the same thing was going to fail us again. I dug out Sybille’s business card and gave her a call. She came to my house, stayed for over an hour as she informed me all about home birth and the care I would receive prepartum, in labor, and postpartum from her. We knew that Sybille was right for us. Throughout my prenatal appointments Sybille gained my trust and my friendship and let me know that I could successfully have this baby at home without medical interventions.
Looking back on it, this birth story seems rather unexciting. And maybe that is the best thing about it. Everything went smoothly. I was never rushed and I was encouraged to let my body lead me. I also knew that I was in the best hands possible, with the best support, and was able to relax and just go with the flow of each contraction.
The day of birth started in the middle of the night. I labored with just my husband until I just needed some more support. My husband called Sybille very early in the morning. She arrived shortly after the phone call with the rest of my team following behind. Sybille stayed with us all day, constantly monitoring both my well being and that of our baby. It was a constant reassurance to hear my baby’s heartbeat, something that I did not hear during my first labor, and to know that my baby was safe. It was a constant calming as I labored in my living room, bathroom, and back porch; places where I already felt comfortable. It was soothing and encouraging to be around people who I love and people who knew how to take care of me throughout the laboring process. I felt supported by the words I heard, the constant input of energy giving food and drink, and the near constant application of counter pressure on my back. My team worked their arm muscles that day!
After laboring for a long time, I asked Sybille to check my dilation, even though I know it really didn’t mean anything. Sybille was perfect in her wording. “You are really dilating. I can feel your bulging bag of waters. The next few contractions could break that bag and that baby will be here so soon”. Those words gave me the strength to keep laboring for hours.
During transition, I really wanted to give up. I was tired. My team encouraged me, Sybille guided me to breathe and move, and my second midwife, Jen, laid it out straight saying “This is what you wanted. We are here to help you get what you want. You cannot give up now”. And I didn’t.
Eventually Sybille did break my water, at 8 cm, after she consulted with Jen and Heidi, her apprentice. They asked me to stay upright to labor so that gravity would help me get the most out of each contraction. I went into the shower and remember thinking “if I was at 8, then I must be at 9 now. 9 is basically 10. I am almost there!” Shortly after I was in the second stage of labor and pushing. I had never gotten to pushing with my first child, so this was all new to me. I tried to push in the birthing tub, but couldn’t get myself positioned effectively. Sybille, again, was expert. She directed me out of the tub and into the living room where she told my husband how to sit to support me in a squat, told me where to put my legs, told me to fold forward and push with each contraction, and placed her fingers on me to show me where to direct my pushing efforts. Jen held a mirror so I could see the effects of my pushes. I remember saying “ I can’t do this!” and having my whole team saying back to me “You are doing it!”. Then there was a sudden pressure and Iris was born.
Iris flew out of me so fast. Sybille immediately placed Iris on my chest and was busy taking care of all the other parts of birth. Afterward, Sybille assessed Iris, sutured my tear, led me through an examination of the placenta, cleaned up all the birthing materials, made sure my husband and I ate and were comfortable before leaving with her team. But, she was back again the next day to check in on us.
How amazing it was to fall asleep in my own house that night! Even more amazing was waking up and having a pretty normal day, plus our addition, right at home. I don’t think I could have sat in a hospital for two days! I was on cloud 9! I wanted to shout from the rooftop that I did it! I am proud to say that I had a HBAC and that Sybille was my midwife guiding me the whole time.
Early Bird Osley and The Mad Dash!
Growing up in Northeast Ohio, the idea of having a homebirth was completely foreign. My mother’s birth story was full of stress, fear, and pain. Naturally I expected a long labor in the hospital, an epidural and episiotomy. Shortly after moving to Nantucket, my eyes were opened to the world of birthing without medical intervention. I knew when the time came to have a baby it would be at home.
Sybille had just sold her house on Nantucket and moved to Newport in northeast Vermont (literally on the Canadian border) when we found out we were having a baby. When my husband and I reached out to Sunny Daily, a well-respected doula on island, we mentioned that our ideal birthing experience would be one in our home. She encouraged us to reach out to Sybille and see if it was a possibility. Fortunately for us it was. As an added bonus, Sunny would be there as well, apprenticing for Sybille!
We made the most of a long distance relationship and had pre-natal visits when she was on-island. My due date was March 4th and Sybille’s plan was to arrive around 37 weeks. January and February were full of crazy storms, power outages, and major wind gusts. There was a window of opportunity for Sybille to make the trip on February 18th. It was a little later than originally anticipated, but being a first pregnancy, the likelihood of going early was slim. She was going to arrive on island on the late boat, and meet with us to go over supplies on the 19th.
On Tuesday, February 17th, I woke up feeling a bit crampy. Knowing that it’s pretty typical to experience these sensations close to the due date, I bellied up with a hot water bottle and a good book for most of the day. Trying to get my mind off of being uncomfortable, my husband and I took an early evening, snowy walk with our dog. We snuggled up with some kale and potato soup and grilled cheeses, I did a foot soak and he massaged my feet with lavender oil. When I touched base with Sybille that evening, she suggested I have a glass of wine and get some rest. Off to bed we went…
While my husband drifted into peaceful slumbers, I stayed up reading, unable to fall asleep. Around 1:30 in the morning I began to feel like things were starting to take on a rhythmic form. I started timing things and by 4:00 I was still awake and these cramps were beginning to feel more like contractions, coming on every 4 ½ minutes. When I woke my husband, he suggested I reach out to Sybille and Sunny. At that point, I hadn’t lost my mucous plug and had my water hadn’t broken. Sybille strongly urged me to get some rest and that she’d be in touch in a couple hours.
I tried for the life of me to find a position that was comfortable enough for me to sleep. When Sybille called back at six, she informed us that she was packing up her truck and heading to The Cape. Pete was instructed to get me some chamomile tea, make sure I ate something and get me to sleep. At some point, I moved to the plush rocker in our bedroom and was able to sleep in between contractions while sipping a smoothie and drinking the tea. I have no idea how long I was there, just that I was able to rest! During this time, Pete frantically ran around town acquiring the supplies we still needed for the homebirth. When he returned, he cleaned out the bathtub and I got in to soak.
Sybille and Sunny arrived around 1:30. By then I had lost my mucous plug in the tub, really started to feel the contractions while getting in touch with my primal side and moaning. Once Sybille took inventory of everything, she confirmed that I was truly in labor! Pete worked on filling the birthing tub with air asin I moved out our bathtub to the bed. Wrapped in my thick, cozy, terry cloth robe, I labored on my side, with Sunny pressing a hot water bottle on my back, encouraging me through every contraction. With no concept of time, I inhaled and moaned my way through one contraction at a time. At one point, I remember Pete taking a break from setting everything up to come in and be with me. He grabbed hold of my hands and I opened my eyes for the first time since getting into bed. “I love you, “ he said, “you’re doing such a good job.” Moments later, my water broke and I was fully dilated!
Final preparations were made to ready the birthing tub. As I was moving towards the tub, I remembered the labor necklace that my friends and family made for me at my shower and put it on. Each bead had a special significance and I set out to channel each woman’s goddess energy. Being in the tub was relaxing and comfortable…maybe too much so as my labor stalled and I didn’t quite understand how to push. Sybille suggested I move to the toilet to get a better sense of how I needed to push in order to get the baby out!
Once I sat down, I quickly understood what needed to happen! With Pete in front of me, I would grab onto his shoulders and hang onto him when the sensation to push came on. As he held all of me, Sunny rubbed his back. I felt weak and unsure I could proceed and Sybille brought me some honey and a banana that I ate in between pushes. I honestly feel this gave me what I needed to get the job done! The baby’s head began to crown quickly and Sybille would press warm comfrey compresses as I pushed to help relieve the “ring of fire” sensation. As the baby’s head started to make more of an appearance, I moved to the bedside to make space to catch the baby. Being there proved to be fruitful, however, it was not enough. When Sybille suggested I squat, I knew that my body had little energy left to do that and we needed to improvise without a birthing stool to sit on. The final give was with Pete supporting me from behind while I sat like I was in a chair. Everyone was encouraging me to give that final push. I remember leaving my body, seeing our dog burst into the room, and hearing our baby’s cry. Pete shouted in excitement, “It’s a boy!” and I reached down to hold onto my little man while everyone helped me onto the bed.
I will never forget how empowered I felt holding him. His umbilical cord was short so he rested at my waist. He was crying and purple but soon calmed and began to pinkin. His skin was so beautiful and his head began to soften and round. What an amazingly beautiful baby he was from the start with a sweet moon face, navy blue eyes, his daddy’s dimpled chin, “O” shaped mouth, and button nose. Looking at him, I felt his soul.
My lady bits felt like they’d been through the ringer and as we waited for the umbilical cord to stop and my placenta, I was vibrating with the most incredible energy. After about 45 minutes, Pete was able to cut the cord and snuggled up to our son as Sybille worked to get my placenta moving. Cutting it close to needing a transfer, I stood up to let gravity set in. Suddenly my bladder released and out came my beautiful, healthy placenta! The rest of the night is a whirlwind of refueling, tending to my needs, cleaning up, and snuggling. We all slept beautifully together that first night and will always cherish the adventure that brought Simon into our world.
Now that the birth was over, I had no idea all that my postpartum care would entail. The ability to stay at home and in bed while being tended to by such loving and caring women made the whole home birth experience worth more than anything. We look forward to having another and sharing that story as well!
Samantha’s Story
What I needed most from Sybille was to be able to trust her. I needed to know that when I was in a position where I would not be able to reason or think my way through, that I could surrender, that she would take over and take care. I needed to know that when it came time to go through it, as I’d heard about so many times but never done myself, that I wouldn’t need to listen to my fears, my pain, my belief that I couldn’t make it. I needed to know that when I hit the point when fatigue and pain and overwhelm were begging for help in any way (drugs, epidural, C-birth) that her “you can do it,” would ring louder in my soul than my own agony, my own limitations, and that if I couldn’t do it, she would take me to the hospital for the necessary life saving interventions.
I needed to know it was ok that I couldn’t begin to imagine what my process giving birth would be like, I didn’t have to be in charge, I didn’t have to be the expert, I could just do my best to relax and breathe and keep sustaining. I knew that birth, especially your first, was something you could never be really prepared for, nobody else’s stories will protect you from the great struggle of life giving.
Sybille earned this trust over the pregnant months with each visit, bringing her knowledge, experience, and perspective to our exams along with her humor and light. She reinforced my desire to do it at home.
So when the moment came—well, to be real, the many moments came—but when the biggest moment came, in the tub, close to the end, when I can’t do it, there’s no way, I’m done, get it out of me, where are the drugs, ok game over, nice try, fuck this, I tried but I can’t. When I had given up because I had seen the end and it wasn’t coming through my body, she was there. And though I didn’t “like” it at the time, she saw what I couldn’t see, which was not only was it possible, but imminent.
He has arrived.
Meegan’s Birth Story
I feel like I had the best care possible during my pregnancy. Sybille Andersen is extremely caring, professional, and full of information. At the same time she makes you feel very empowered and capable of making your own choices. My husband and I knew that we wanted a home birth as soon as we found out that we were expecting. At the time there was not a homebirth option on Martha’s Vineyard. After calling a Boston based midwife that would only be willing to work with us if we moved off island, I felt desperate and discouraged. Having a baby off island in somebody else’s space would be better than the hospital, but nothing like my own home. I called Sybille on the neighboring island of Nantucket, and she was willing to meet with us. It worked out that we would be on Nantucket for a mini honeymoon in September, and that was also our first prenatal appointment. When I called Sybille from the Martha’s Vineyard airport to firm up our meeting the following day she asked when our flight was getting in. I thought she was just curious, but there she was at the airport on Nantucket to pick us up so that we didn’t have to pay cab fare into town. That was just the first of many times that she went out of her way to accommodate us.
We took turns island hoping for my early prenatal care. Sybille wound up having to spend a lot more time with me because of plane and ferry schedule gaps, but she didn’t seem to mind too much. After our prenatal appointments we went for long dog walks on the beaches of Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket and got to know one another. I feel that I not only met an amazing midwife, but also a life long friend and mentor. I am a doula and I hope to someday be a midwife too. Sybille is totally willing to share her experiences and her path towards this challenging career. I really admire all that she has done in her life and feel that she is right in her element when it comes to childbirth and midwifery. It is so great to be around her positive energy and wisdom.
Not only did Sybille provide thorough prenatal care, but she also gave us four classes on childbirth and newborn care at no extra cost. She spent many extra hours with us making sure that all of our questions were answered. I knew a good amount about pregnancy from my work as a doula, but I still felt that I wanted my husband to have some child birth education. During our appointments with Sybille I always felt so comfortable and happy to be in my home or hers. She is able to do all the necessary check up in a non clinical setting. It makes being pregnant feel healthy and happy, and not like an illness that needs to be controlled.
We were all a little anxious about my going into labor and the logistics of how and when Sybille would get over from Nantucket. I started to have minor contractions around 3:30 am on March 22, 2006. Sybille just happened to be coming later that morning for a prenatal appointment. I called her to let her know of the possibility. She said that she would bring some over night clothes just in case. My husband and I felt excited, but we kept our cool. Sybille arrived and we had our appointment. I was in early labor, but we all sort of down played it, not knowing how long it would be or when it would progress. Some of the best advice from Sybille was that we should go about the day instead of sitting around and waiting. We all went for a great hike and I stopped every so often to rock through a contraction. My Husband and I went grocery shopping and out to lunch. We headed home when my contractions got more intense in the afternoon. During my labor Sybille took great care to check on us, and take the babies heart tones, but she left my husband and me alone. We were able to have as much private time together as we desired. Sybille’s presence allowed me to safely and confidently go through labor. After one exam in the late afternoon I was two centimeters. Upon the second exam, just after midnight on the 23rd I was fully dilated and ready to push. I really appreciated that Sybille didn’t have to examine me every hour. If I wasn’t ready I didn’t really want to know.
Sybille and my husband prepared a blow up kiddy pool in the late evening while my two girlfriends helped me relax between contractions. I got into the warm wonderful tub and my daughter was born 18 minutes later. Afterwards my husband and I and our new beautiful bright eyed baby Clara Ann all got in bed together. We were able to spend time all together for the first time, while Sybille and my girlfriends cleaned up the house. Sybille really took good care of me and mothered me when I became a new mom.
Nethal’s Story
I’m one of those people who see home birth as my only option. My sister and I were born at home and my Mom instilled in us from a young age that birth is not an illness, and that the medical profession in this country wasn’t in the habit of treating this natural process with the respect and support that it deserves.
My sisters and I not only grew up planning to have all of our children at home, but every one of us has and I think still does dream of becoming midwives ourselves. My older sister has had all six of her daughters at home – the last of which she actually delivered on her own – and I have had my 2 daughters, Hafsah and Maryam, at home with Sybille attending my births.
Both of my experiences I must say were wonderful, I left them feeling that natural birth is do-able. I thank God for that, and for giving me not just a midwife to help me during these special events in my and my family’s lives, but a friend in Sybille.
At first I thought it was odd how she kept in touch with me after my first daughter was born, e-mailing me from time to time, and coming to visit us whenever we were on Nantucket visiting my in-laws. I think this was because I looked at what Sybille did as a midwife like a job. Or because I’m not used to “small town life” and the way people interact when not living in these crowded cities like I grew up in.
Well, when I became pregnant with my second child I emailed Sybille saying in so many words: “oh and by the way, I’m pregnant again and I’m going to try and find a midwife in my area.” Her response was very touching and unexpected. She expressed her disappointment that I was to begin searching for another midwife. She told me she would really like to be at my birth, and that if my desire to find a new midwife was solely because I thought it would be too difficult for her to travel to me that she sees no reason why it can’t be done. Boy did I feel special, and realized that it wasn’t just a job for Sybille but maybe a broadening of her heart and her family with every birth. I am very grateful to have such a caring and dedicated midwife, inspiring me to do more than just dream.
Yana’s Homebirth
In 2004 I had my daughter Nina at the Nantucket Cottage Hospital. I had a pretty good time, but being at the hospital left me feeling like it wasn’t my cup of tea after all. When I was pregnant a second time I knew I wanted to have a homebirth.
Sybille provided wonderful prenatal care for me and my family. Thanks to the thorough hour long visits, we were able to take care of some minor problems in preparation for the birth. I found suggestions on diet, exercise, supplements, and taking care of myself very valuable. The involvement of my daughter and husband in my prenatal care was an important part of transitioning into a new phase of our lives.
My labor kept coming and going for a week. It was such a different experience. Being my second baby, the “real thing” took only about 3 hours or so. I labored in the shower on hands and knees, on the toilet, in all kinds of weird positions. I got into the waterbirth tub, which was an absolute heaven, and something like 4 pushes later, my baby was born. Without all the hospital machinery, noise, lights and poking and prodding, I felt like the experience of this birth was truly mine. The luxury of laboring naked and holding my baby for a good 40 minutes still attached by his cord to me, those are the things that were significant, the things that are hard to come by in a hospital setting today.
Our little boy was born on October 16, 2008, into the hands of our wonderful midwife Sybille. The image I am sure I will never forget. The experience I hold as truly sacred.
Betsy
I had always envisioned having my babies at home in a space that was warm and familiar, in a soft light with an orangey hue, and not in a sterilized feeling place surrounded by the strange and acrid smells of a hospital. However, when I found out I was pregnant and faced planning where and how I would have my first baby, it proved to be more daunting and stressful than I had foreseen. I felt a lot of pressure to accept a medical and hospital birth and had a hard time finding where to begin to plan a birth that was what I had imagined. I was grateful and relieved to find Sybille, and felt very lucky I had access to the option of having a homebirth with a knowledgeable and experienced midwife.
I was considering a number of places that I might be able to plan the kind of birth I wanted, and settled happily to plan the birth of my first baby at a family home on the Vineyard, with Sybille. As I was living in New York at the time, I came to the island several times to meet with Sybille in the early months of my pregnancy and then moved there a few months before my due date.
I read, among many other books that where recommended from all walks of life, Michel Odent’s Birth Reborn, which Sybille had loaned me. It happened to be the first book I read and it made quite an impression on me and, and I decided to reread it again as the last one I read on the subject. I declared that I wanted to have a water birth and Sybille was quick to encourage me, but also cautioned that we should plan for a waterbirth and also plan for a not-waterbirth. She pointed out that I may find that I was not as keen on the idea when the moment came as I was now, sitting at the kitchen table, imagining how it would be. So my partner, Ben, and I ordered a blow up pool on the internet and gathered up all of the necessary homebirthing supplies in a box and awaited the arrival of our first baby.
As March came around, and I felt the first sensations of contractions one evening, I must admit that initially I felt a mild panic, just for a moment. For one, I hadn’t finished making the crib mattress I was planning on having ready for the new baby and, two, my due date was still ten days away. I was up for most of the night with contractions that were not very regular and still quite some distance apart. My water broke at 9 a.m. the next morning and I phoned Sybille who immediately set me at ease and began making her way from her island home to ours.
Ben and I set up the kiddy pool turned birth pool we had ordered and I felt most compelled to get in. Sybille arrived a few hours later, still many hours before the birth, and upon examination, agreed that it was a perfectly good idea for me to get into the pool. I lolled around in the pool for some time; I was more comfortable there because I could move around at my whims, being relatively weightless in the water. This was a huge advantage in labor, because no position was ever good for very long. I was struck by sudden and clear impulses to move myself into different positions, and I was, like a beached whale, too big and cumbersome to achieve that very well out of the water. I would have said that I had been in the pool for about a half of an hour when I announced that I felt like getting out. Meg and Ben helped me out and onto the bed and informed me that I had been in the pool for about three hours. Sybille examined me and assured me I was making good progress. I was tired: from hardly sleeping the night before and from laboring all day. And I was kind of out-of-it at this point. I said I was tired and that I was going to lie down, which I did. My contractions slowed down a bit and I actually fell asleep for a while between contractions.
When I woke up about an hour later, Sybille suggested a big spoon of honey to get my energy up. I felt the need to push but I wasn’t quite dilated enough so I had to wait out a little more labor, on the bed. Maybe the hardest part of the labor, for me, was resisting the urge to push until Sybille gave me the okay. Then she offered the suggestion: maybe you want to get back in the pool again. And I did want to! I got back in the pool and Ben got in behind me; I sat between his knees and he held me up. I was beginning to get really tired by now. Sybille gave me another couple of spoons of honey and said, okay, it’s time to have your baby now. She climbed into the tub with us, standing in front of me to manage what was happening with the baby. Meg, our amazing doula, really saw to my mind: helping me with my breathing and keeping my head down and not arching my back. Sybille saw to the birth itself, managing more my body and the baby.
A few pushes later, I could feel the burning and stretching to let the head out that culminated in a tear. At the moment of the tear I said, “that hurts.” And with that, he was here; it was about 6 p.m. Sybille guided him up onto my belly so that Ben, over my shoulder, and I could see him. Just his face came out of the water and the birth was so happy and peaceful, he scarcely cried, he just opened his eyes and looked up at Ben and me. Of course we were completely taken with him: the most perfect child ever.
When I think back on that birth experience, I wouldn’t even say was painful. I think, “uncomfortable” more accurately describes it. I wouldn’t say it was painful except for the tear; that was brief and painful. But when we finally got out of the tub about half an hour later and I laid down to have Sybille stitch up the tear, I was so high on having a new beautiful baby and all of the chemicals that my own body had released, I couldn’t have cared less about a tear. Sybille examined it an told me this is what they would call a significant tear and she was preparing to stitch it but recommended, if I was up for it, that she not shoot it with Novocain first because the irritation that that would cause would make the stitching more difficult and less exact. I didn’t even flinch, “Oh, yeah, whatever.” I hardly remember being stitched up with no Novocain, if you can imagine that, I was so blissed-out.
In the days and weeks to follow, the tear was sore and it was the only thing about my birth experience that I would have changed if I could have. However, in retrospect, having the tear necessitated resting more in the days and weeks that followed, than I otherwise think I would have, and with a clearer perspective now, that was actually probably a good thing. And of course it did eventually heal up and left no residual irritation.
Two years later, I was pregnant again. We actually did consider having a hospital birth because the insurance we had this time would cover a hospital birth and not a homebirth. I had seriously debated this but when it came time to decide which route to take, the answer became perfectly clear to me: I was so happy with my first birth experience, why would I take a different route? So I called Sybille and planned a homebirth just like the first one. 
Interestingly, my water didn’t break at the beginning of my labor the second time around. And when it came time to get into the birth pool, I didn’t really feel like it. I spent sometime in the pool but the labor was shorter, only about 2 and half hours of active labor and in the end, I didn’t feel like getting into the pool for the birth itself either. My water broke just minutes before the birth and I ended up squatting, leaning with my back against the side of the bed and Ben holding me up from behind again. I think at least in part, because Sybille was able to manage the moment of the baby emerging more exactly, since it wasn’t under water, she was able to help control the speed at which the head came out more effectively and I am happy to report I had almost no tear at all. There was a little nick of tear, but nothing compared to the first experience. And we joyfully welcomed another boy, who came out yelling, unlike the first. Just a minute or two after he was born, I decided I wanted to get into the tub at that point, and that was quite nice; it was warm and relaxing to both baby and me.
I really feel so happy and lucky that my birth experiences were just how I had envisioned them.
Amber
I was thrilled to have Sybille as a midwife for the birth of my second daughter, Zara. While my first birth in a New York hospital birth center was a good experience, I knew there were things that could have been better (like not having to drive 40 minutes in transition), and so I was very excited to find a qualified and professional homebirth midwife once we moved to Nantucket. I can’t speak highly enough of my experience with Sybille. She was incredibly thorough and provided care at a level that was above and beyond the care I received in my first pregnancy. At each prenatal appointment, she came to my house and spent at least an hour with me discussing my pregnancy and ideal birth. She spent time not only getting to know me and my husband, but also our three year old (who was at the birth) and our dog. In all of my experiences with healthcare provider, I have never felt more respected as an intelligent consumer or personally cared for.
During the (rather speedy) birth, Sybille made us feel completely safe while respecting my desire to manage my own labor. She gave me space when I asked for it and provided help when it was needed. After my daughter was born, she continued her high standard of care with my daughter and me, and remains in contact with me even now months after the birth. I can’t be more appreciative of Sybille and her support through my pregnancy, birth, and postpartum period.
If you are interested in reading more about our home birth experience, you can do so on my blog, Au Coeur. On my blog, I have posts about my prenatal care, preparing a sibling to participate in a birth, safety and supplies, managing pain in labor, Zara’s Birth Story, and postpartum care after a homebirth.
Molly
Going into my third pregnancy I knew that I wanted an entirely different birthing experience. Our first two children were born in the hospital, and although these events were mostly positive, I could not envision myself having our next child in the same setting and under the same circumstances. After researching a few options and after talking to mothers who had homebirths here on Nantucket, I discovered that a homebirth was exactly the experience I was seeking and I became excited about the thought of delivering our child in the comforts of our own home surrounded by family.
From the moment I met Sybille, I felt an immediate connection to her and felt very comfortable in her presence. Seeing how vastly experienced and extremely passionate she is about midwifery made me feel like I was in the best of hands. Her pre-natal appointments were thorough and comprehensive and both Sybille and her assistant Alice would go the extra mile to make sure that I was feeling confident and positive about my pregnancy, and my impending labor and delivery. Through the months that we worked together, we created a strong partnership and I learned tremendously from Sybille.
My labor started on the evening of a full moon just after we had tucked our children into bed for the night. It was so relaxing knowing that we did not have to rush off to the hospital and that we did not have to call a friend in to watch our children while we were away. Being able to stay in our own home allowed me to create the environment that felt right for me and it also brought less distractions and interruptions. I was able to focus more clearly and thus do what came most naturally to me. It was also really nice to be able to walk about and to move around during contractions which I was not able to do during most of my first two labors.
My partner Tommy, my mother Mary, Sybille and Alice were my unrelenting support team and were there during the tough moments to center me and to guide me through. I felt completely safe and comfortable in their presence and this allowed me to relax and to let go more easily and effectively. My labor lasted less than 5 hours and I believe things unfolded much quicker and much more naturally because I was in such a soothing atmosphere with the perfect company around me.
As I approached the end of my labor I stepped into a birthing tub. The moment I began to soak my body, I felt even more relaxed and my pain became less intense from the warmth of the water. My mother was there holding me and encouraging me while Tommy massaged my lower back and put cold washcloths on the back of my neck and forehead. Sybille and Alice were close by to monitor me as necessary and were extremely supportive. After an exhaustive hour in the tub, our son was born. Holding him in the water seconds after the delivery was an extremely emotional experience and we bonded immediately.
After our birth, Sybille and Alice thoroughly examined us to make sure that we were both strong and healthy. And after everything was cleaned up and after making sure that I was feeling comfortable and confident in my new role, they left us alone to connect as a family throughout the rest of the night. Waking up the next morning with our son in my arms in our own home was amazing and it was great being able to bring our children downstairs after they awoke to meet their new brother.
Our homebirth experience was only two months ago and it still seems very surreal to me. I could not have had a more positive birthing experience and it is so wonderful looking back at those entire 9+ months feeling so blown away by everything that happened. Sybille was not only an amazing midwife but an amazing teacher and I am grateful beyond measure for all that I learned throughout my entire homebirth experience. Thank you Sybille!!!
Julie
My first daughter Caroline was born in the hospital. I was put on pitocin because I was believed to be late, though throughout my pregnancy there was a discrepancy regarding my due date. I don’t think I was given enough information about how my delivery would be affected by pitocin. Because I was fully strapped in to all possible monitors and an IV, I was unable to cope with the fast and furious, and unnatural progression of contractions. I ended up with an epidural and three hours of pushing. With the help of my doula Alice, (who is also Sybille’s assistant) Caroline was finally born vaginally and though my recovery was a bit rough, we were both fine and I was happy and consumed with my beautiful, baby girl.
For my second pregnancy I knew I wanted a different experience. Though I was a little nervous about the idea of a home birth I knew I wanted the care of a midwife. My husband Sunny was born at home and was very supportive of the idea, though no one in my family had ever considered giving birth outside of a hospital. We committed to working with Sybille and Alice and after the first couple of prenatal appointments, I was convinced we had made the right decision. My pre-natal care was personal and comprehensive; each appointment lasting an hour, as opposed to the busy doctor’s office where I was whisked in and out in ten minutes. I felt that Sybille provided access to all the information available so that we made informed decisions. Her experience gave me confidence and I felt that over the course of the pregnancy through my prenatal care, she and Alice and I had become a team, with the goal being a healthy pregnancy and delivery for me and my baby. It was extremely different form being a patient in the hospital.
When my due date rolled around and I began to fear that I would be late and unable to go into labor on my own, Sybille assured me that my body could be trusted to know when the baby was ready to be born and that there was no rush. I was delighted to wake up on the morning after Thanksgiving, a week after my due date, to mild contractions. In the back of my head I was really afraid that I would somehow end up on potocin again. After my mother came to pick up Caroline the contractions became more intense and regular and Sybille and Alice arrived. I labored on a mattress which we had brought into our living room. With each contraction either Sybille, Alice or Sunny was rubbing my lower back and holding my hand which made all the difference in the world. It was interesting because for my first birth in the hospital I didn’t really want anyone to touch me. The birthing tub was also set up in our living room. I got in when I was fully dilated and it was so soothing. I was only in it for about a half an hour; with four pushes our second daughter Rita Sunshine was born just as the sun came out after two days of non- stop rain. 
It was so amazing to sit in the tub in my living room holding my new born daughter. After Sybille and Alice checked us out and cleaned up, Sunny, Rita and I spent the rest of the day relaxing in our cozy home and that’s when I truly realized the beauty of a home birth. We never had the stressful transition to the hospital. I was allowed to progress smoothly through my labor with no interruptions. The support that I got during labor from Sybille, Alice and Sunny was exactly what I needed- never too little or too much. My recovery was quick and easy, I believe because of the comfort of my environment and the healing water of the birthing tub. Having a home birth was not merely the best way to deliver my baby; it was a truly amazing and beautiful life experience for me and Sunny. I feel so fortunate, especially considering that we live on an island and are forced to travel to the mainland for so many things, that I had the best birth experience with such competent, caring, and knowledgeable birth attendants right in my own home!
Gabrielle
Samual Augustus Gould was born on October 22nd 2005 at 8:08 PM in his own home on Island 30 miles out to sea. He was a big boy at 9lbs.+, strong, healthy, beautiful and perfect in every way. He was born in our bathtub and spent the first hour of his life in my arms; he then went to his fathers embrace. He was then measured, weighed and given a wonderfully thorough baby exam on our bed right in front of us! Shortly after Brandt served a home made dinner to all, Sybille and her assistant Rachel went home when all of us were settled, and Brandt and I fell asleep curled up in our clean healthy home with our beautiful baby who never had to leave our arms for more than a few minutes until days later.
In the morning I was amazed at how magnificent my childbirth experience was. How I could never explain to anyone what giving birth feels like but I could tell what an incredible Midwife we had and that, for us, the choice to birth at home was by far the best.
Starting with our first pre-natal visit Sybille spent over an hour with us. We spoke in depth about childbirth, home birth, history of birth, books to read on the subject, nutrition during pregnancy, and my husbands two other children and our growing family. Every pre-natal we had was an hour long with plenty of question and answer time, gentle care for me and the baby, consideration and respect for Brandt and a growing friendship with Sybille.
Fast-forward 9 months to when contractions started: a phone call was made and Sybille was on her way! I knew then how lucky I was, my contractions came on hard and strong and if I had had to get in a car, drive to the hospital and wait in Admitting I would have been miserable. Instead I walked around our home, hugged my stepchildren and finally retreated to my bedroom with Brandt, Rachel and Sybille. 
I drank juice freely throughout labor, walked around, changed birthing positions and decided to get in a warm bath when the going got tough. Sybille was strong and professional, she gave heartfelt encouragement and love, and she allowed the birthing experience to be ours with a gentle helping hand.
All in all I could not have imagined a better, safer and kinder way to welcome my first child into this world. All of us give our love and support to Sybille, if we were to do it again, without question it would be done at home with Sybille.
Kelly’s Story
PEACE. STRENGTH. JOY. Those are a few of the words that come to mind as I recall the homebirth of my son. Birth is just an amazing experience in general, but there is something about being in the familiar environment of your own home and surrounded by people of your choosing that makes it extraordinary. Our homebirth journey began in December of 2010, when we found out we were expecting our second child. I can’t really explain it, because this was not something we had even considered before, but something just clicked- I knew I wanted our baby to be born at home. And so began the search for a midwife! While up late one night, feeling nauseous of course, I found Sybille’s website. Having grown up here, I knew who Sybille was because I was in school around the same time as her children. It took all of maybe 60 seconds of perusing the site and reading bits of testimonials before I shook my husband awake and said “by the way, we’re having a homebirth”!
Here is our back story- what led us to the homebirth path. My birth experience with my daughter, while still resulting in one of the happiest days of my life, was far from what I had dreamed having my first child would be like. We were living in Memphis, TN when I had my routine 20 week ultrasound during which I was told they couldn’t get a good view of the baby’s heart. Being a young, naïve first time mom, I thought nothing of this. Two weeks later during a level 2 ultrasound, it was discovered that our baby had a serious heart defect that if left untreated would be fatal. I was crushed. All of my dreams of how birth and motherhood would be went out the window and the only thing running through my head was “what do I do to make sure my baby lives?” That’s not usually something one addresses when writing out a birth plan. I picked up and moved back to Massachusetts while my husband continued to work (to keep our health insurance) in Tennessee. I knew the best hospitals were in Boston and I wasn’t going to take a chance anywhere else. At 39 weeks, I was induced and after 13 hours of being pumped full of pitocin, 2 attempts at breaking my water and what seemed like every doctor in the hospital performing pelvic exams at 15 minute intervals, I gave up my hopes of a “natural” childbirth and asked for an epidural. 3 hours later, I got it. 10 hours after that, our daughter was born and whisked away to the NICU, then to the Cardiac ICU to begin the delicate process of saving her life. Through most of those 26 hours, I felt like an outsider looking in. I had stripped myself of the right to make decisions regarding the birth, leaving everything entirely up to the doctors and nurses to ensure that my daughter had the best chance at survival. I had no confidence in myself or my ability to bring her into the world. I do, however, thank God for the medical team’s decision making because four years later, my daughter is a healthy, happy little girl (with a new heart, I might add!), and that is the most important thing.
Bringing us back to present day, because of everything we went through with our daughter, most people thought we were absolutely insane to even be considering a homebirth. Some people accused me of being outright selfish. I knew in my heart, though, that this is what I wanted and that it would all be okay. My husband was completely supportive of my decision from the beginning, never questioning it once, which was a huge help. Our approach was one of “co-care”. I routinely saw a doctor in addition to Sybille, and had regular ultrasounds to monitor the baby’s heart. Sybille was amazing. She was great about communicating with my doctor and making sure we were very prepared as we approached the birth. In so many ways, Sybille went above and beyond in how she treated us and I felt truly cared for (and about)- physically and emotionally- throughout my pregnancy and delivery.
Okay, now for “go time”! August 30, 2011- 8 days overdue. Sybille and I had spent the previous day discussing how this week would go, since once I hit 42 weeks, she would have to surrender care to the hospital. We talked about herbs and castor oil. We did a “thorough” pelvic exam in hopes that something would get started. Thankfully, it did! I woke up that morning at around 6 with fairly strong contractions. Since I had been feeling them off and on for weeks, I didn’t get my hopes up just yet. I glanced at the clock and figured I’d keep an eye on them. They stayed fairly regular- about 8-10 minutes apart, so I called Sybille to give her a heads up. I was trying hard to contain my excitement, just in case this ended up being a false alarm, and Sybille calmly said to take it easy and let her know when the contractions got closer together and more intense. Around 2 pm, the contractions had gone from 8 minutes apart to 4 minutes apart and were increasing in intensity. I called Sybille and she said she and Annie would be on their way! I remember the mix of excitement and anxiety I was feeling, along with the adrenaline rush of knowing I was really going to do this- have my baby at home! I also remember, pacing back and forth in the bedroom as Sybille and Annie worked on getting the tub and everything set up in the other room. I had Zach rubbing my shoulders trying to distract me from what were pretty strong contractions and I said to him “I can do this, right?” and he simply answered, “of course you can”. That was it. I didn’t ask again. At that point, without really meaning to, I began to focus inward and just trust in my body’s natural ability to bear my child. I spent most of the time with my eyes closed, listening to music (the same CD over and over again- sorry Sybille and Annie!), the outside world in a haze. Honestly, I felt naturally drugged! The tub felt amazing and added to the sense of calm that had come over me. Sybille and Annie directed Zach to keep me hydrated with my Recharge and feed me bites of snacks to keep my energy up. I think around 7 or so we decided to check my dilation, and I was around 8 cm. It was nice to know we were getting somewhere! Very soon after that I started getting the urge to push, which I tried to hold off on since I wasn’t fully dilated but that started to become difficult. The body does what it wants to do at a certain point! We moved from the tub to the bed, which I had figured I would do so I could push on solid ground. The haze I had been in gave way to a sudden clarity and burst of energy as the arrival of our son approached. There came a point where I felt as if my pushing wasn’t resulting in anything and I remember saying, “Can we help him or something?” His head was out but he had his hand balled up in a fist right next to his shoulder, which was making it a bit harder to push. Sybille massaged and maneuvered and within a minute or two, at 9:11pm, Jax Christian Miller had entered the world. Almost 6 months later, telling this story still brings a huge smile to my face, as I’m sure it will for the rest of my life.
Some days, I find myself walking through the house, mindlessly picking up toys or putting clothes away. I’ll pause, glance at the bed downstairs or the spot in the kitchen where the tub was and smile. There. That’s where my baby was born. Having a homebirth was the most mind-blowing, rewarding, empowering experience of my life. It filled me with peace, strength, joy and most of all, LOVE.
Fallon
I have always wanted to give birth naturally and at home. I was living in St. Thomas when I found out I was pregnant, and soon after I realized that was not the environment I wanted to continue my pregnancy and ultimately birth in. So off we went returning to New York, where our families live, but not quite sure where our final birthing place would be. On the advice of my partner’s friend, I went to a nearby clinic in Queens, NY to check on the progress of the pregnancy, and left feeling mortified at how they had treated me, and poked and prodded me with needles. It was around that time that my search for a midwife began.
After deciding to settle on the Vineyard (my birthplace) to give birth, and five months into my pregnancy, we met Sybille. What a breath of fresh air! It was so relaxing to have Sybille come to our house and just sit and talk with us without any medical procedures being done. This, I thought to myself, is who I want to help me birth my child.
Over the next four months or so, we developed a feeling of trust and love for this woman. On September 11, my due date, I went into mild labor. I waited all day to call Sybille (don’t do this for future reference) and she quickly made her journey over to the Vineyard from Nantucket. Sybille allowed my partner and I the space and privacy to labor alone for most of the night, and when contractions became stronger, she arrived right on time with Lila to offer support and prepare the birthing tub. Her beautiful compassionate presence lent strength and courage to me during the hardest contractions, and when a minor complication arose in the final stages of labor, Sybille knew exactly what to say and do in order for the baby to come down my birth canal. I never doubted Sybille’s capabilities, but looking back, it was at that moment that I knew we had made an incredible choice by having Sybille assist me in my 16+hour labor.
Finally on September 12, at 10:12 am, Sybille caught my daughter in her loving hands as she was born and placed her on my belly. We were in love. After her and Lila had nurtured us for so many long hours, they then cleaned up (wow!), and stayed a bit longer to enjoy lunch with our family and friends. I could never thank Sybille enough for allowing us to birth the way we had wanted to and for all of her help and support throughout my pregnancy, She has inspired me to follow my dream of becoming a doula, and hopefully one day a midwife, and we will always consider her an amazing midwife and very special friend!
Caitlin
When my husband Paul and I discovered we were pregnant, I immediately knew that the choices we would make about our baby’s delivery would be among the most important decisions of our lives. Every mother wants the birth of their child to be sacred and special, and I was no different, but having had a history of abnormal pelvic exams, multiple biopsies, and LEEP surgery, I had been told by several OB/GYNs that there was a good chance I would have a high risk pregnancy. In the beginning it seemed like the only option for my delivery would be a hospital birth, but I knew I wanted to explore all other options first, so Paul and I began a dialogue about an all natural, home water birth, and placed a few calls to people we knew who had also sought out alternatives to the hospital. I am forever grateful that we did our homework, because it ultimately led us to the woman who would become our midwife and deliver our son.
During our first consultation, Sybille assured us that home birth was indeed an option post-LEEP, and even brought with her a list of things I could do homeopathically to encourage the integrity of my cervix. Based on that visit alone I knew home birth was for me, however we decided co-care was the best solution for my potentially “high risk” situation. I began prenatal care with both an OBGYN on the island, and with Sybille, with the intention to deliver at home if my pregnancy progressed normally. By 32 weeks I was given the green light by my OBGYN to deliver at home, and Sybille took over my prenatal care exclusively.
I have to say that having co-care gave me valuable insights into the way that pregnancy and birth are treated within the current medical community and supported by midwifery. While I am certain that every woman’s experience is different, for me the human investment Sybille put into the prenatal and postpartum care I received was above and beyond anything I experienced at the hospital. Our visits lasted an hour or longer each and every time (10 minutes at the OBGYN’s), and never felt route or clinical. She was always attentive to my individual needs, and I could feel her compassion not only in her voice but also in her touch.
By most accounts the birth of our son Griffin was fast. Griffin was born on Friday the 18th of December 2009, and it was without a doubt the single most wonderful experience of my life. I don’t know what it would have been like to deliver in the hospital, because I didn’t. But I do know that my birthing experience flowed easily for me because we were surrounded by the comforts of our own home and had Sybille as our guide.
At 6 o’clock, the evening of the 18th, my water broke. By 7:30 p.m. Paul, Isabella and I returned home and no sooner did we walk in the front door then I took to my hands and knees and the work of labor began. Isabella brought me my yoga mat and I crawled onto it in front of our living room hearth. By 8:00 o’clock p.m. the contractions were so close together I hardly had time to think in between, and when Sybille came in through our back door at 8:30 I was fairly sure it was Griffin’s head I could feel between my legs. At once Sybille got down on the floor with me and confirmed that the baby was indeed crowning. I felt her reassuring touch and knew immediately that I’d see my son soon. I remember her saying something like “We have to get you out of these clothes, you’re about to have a baby in your pants!”. I would have laughed had I been able. 
She guided me through two more pushes and then suggested I reach down and take hold of my baby. Time-stopping waves of joy cascaded over me as I followed her calming directives. No one could have know things would progress so quickly, but because of the solid care we had received, and the preparations we had made, everyone in our family felt secure in our ability to flow with Griffin’s birth
Paul and I enjoyed the intimacy of our son’s first breaths of air without the glare of halogen lights, the noise of strange voices, or the intrusiveness of a set protocol. We stayed physically connected to Griffin the entire time he was cleaned and swaddled. When it was time for his first postpartum assessment, we simply transitioned from the living room into our bedroom, and Paul and I both held his tiny fingers as he was examined in the comfort of our very own bed.
I feel very lucky to have had the birth experience that I had, and to have had the support both prenatally and postnatally that I received from Sybille. Griffin’s delivery was not without its surprises, but it was exactly what Paul and I had hoped for.
Paul
As a father with a previous birth experience, I have been fortunate to share first hand, the joy of being present for both of my children’s births. The first experience was a successful hospital birth; the most recent, an equally successful home birth.
Just as Caitlin told in her story: everything about our birth experience, from the personal, customized and unhurried prenatal care our Midwife provided, to our intimate, smooth and successful birth made a huge difference to us.
From the perspective of a dad, thanks to Sybille, I never felt marginalized or superfluous nor in the way. My questions were answered, my input sought and my participation encouraged. As a modern father this was exactly how I hoped my role in Griffin’s birth would play out. At all times, my confidence in my wife and her birth team was never disappointed.
Compared to the birth of our son, Griffin, my previous mainland experience was as different as ‘night and day’. Everything from the trouble and expense of having pre-natal visits in Plymouth throughout the pregnancy, to my nearly missing the ‘show’, made me wish we had elected to birth at home. After Isabella was born, the intrusiveness of hospital reality took hold. The constant “necessary” exams, interruptions and conditions made for a less than perfect first night. We were not able to sleep with our baby due to hospital rules, and I spent the night sitting alone in the nursery watching over Isa as she was sequestered in a plastic case. Her mother slept down the hall. Additionally, the logistical hassle of getting back to the Island with a newborn, made me wish there could be another way.
Fast forward to this past year and what a difference! We slept with our son on his first night, in our bed, in our own home with no arbitrary rules nor plastic cradle to separate our family.
Thank you, Sybille, for the enormous effort, commitment and love you put into your work!
Mary Alice
I never thought that I would have a home birth. I am a registered nurse and the large majority of my days are spent working in a hospital. Five days before my positive pregnancy test my 32 year old husband unexpectedly suffered a stroke. It was a big, beautiful hospital and their staff that got us through that experience. I’m a fan of hospitals and the work they do.
My pregnancy was a bright bit of news in our lives during a stressful time of unknown. While my husband healed we made plans for the future that looked different now. For the first 30 weeks of my pregnancy I was followed by the loving care of the midwives at our hospital and I started to think about my birth plan. In preparation for labor I read “Birth Reborn” by Michele Odent. I loved his message that birthing woman need to find their own safe space to encourage their natural instincts take over during labor. I am a private person and I began to develop concerns about finding a comfortable space in the hospital environment where I work. I worried that the hospital carried too much meaning for me, this was a space where I treated sick people daily and I did not feel sick at all. I loved being pregnant, I felt healthy and strong as I grew that little baby inside my body.
I decided that my birth could not be an experience managed or attended by my colleagues. Because I live on an island the options quickly became clear for me, it was the hospital or home. My husband and his siblings were born at home so the idea was normal to him and he was supportive. I contacted Sybille, she was living on our neighbor island at the time, and after a couple of conversations I made my decision to give the home birth a chance. However, I wasn’t ready to share this news with my world. I feared my colleagues, doctor, friends, and family would not be supportive of my choice. I didn’t want the negative energy or lectures to be given to me, so I only shared my thoughts with those closest to me. I sought out Meg, a supportive doula and fellow islander to help me make a plan.
I was 39 weeks when my water broke at 3am. I was given strict instructions from Sybille to go back to sleep, so I climbed into bed fully intending to. My husband and I laid awake pretending to sleep, preparing to become parents. Around 5am I felt the need to start moving. We began organizing, cleaning, and setting up supplies. I was excited and feeling well, the contractions had been regular every 3-5 minutes since around 6am and I had to pause for a few moments as they passed over, but then I could carry on bossing my husband around.
I sent Aaron off to the store around 9:30am. The feeling of being alone in my home while in labor was empowering. I showered and once I was finished I didn’t feel much like leaving the warm, dark bathroom. I spent a while moving through contractions leaning on the sink and sitting on the toilet. Aaron returned around 10:30 with the energy drinks and the snacks I requested, but I wanted nothing to do with them, a heavy nausea was accompanying each contraction. Aaron says I greeted him with the statement, “I’m not having fun anymore”.
Sybille and Meg arrived around noon and found me in the bathroom still. We talked and Sybille checked my vital signs, the baby’s heart rate, and took a urine specimen. Sybille instructed me to keep eating because there were ketones in my urine, a sign that my body was burning fat reserves. Sybille told me it was essential that I eat in order to keep up my energy. Meg and Aaron came in frequently to give me bites of yogurt and banana, cool compresses for my neck and sips of electrolyte water, but mostly I felt like being alone. I didn’t want to eat or drink but Sybille told me I should and I wanted to listen to her because I trusted her.
Meg gave me a homeopathic remedy for the nausea and it was a dream. I asked if I could get in the birth pool that was set up in the living room. Sybille agreed as long as she first did an internal exam to determine my dilation progress. She explained to me that sometimes the water can slow down the progression of labor and we wanted to avoid that. It was a bright and sunny afternoon in March, we had a fire in the wood stove and our living room was full of light. To my great surprise and relief Sybille told me that I was fully dilated, I felt a wave of energy and excitement. I was so grateful that the process was working!
The hot water felt so calming on my body and I could move around freely. Not long after entering the tub I felt ready to push. I had been so fearful of this part, fearful of the pain, but I did not feel afraid at all. Sybille frequently checked the baby’s heart rate during this time and I liked hearing that it was strong. I began to push during one of the contractions and it actually felt like a relief during the peak of the contraction. I was able to rest in between contractions and I fell asleep for a minute or two at a time. I didn’t believe Meg and Sybille when they said they could see my baby’s head, I thought they were just trying to coach me and make me feel better! With the next contraction I felt a burning sensation that Sybille had told me about, she had taught me how to breathe through it and I did, when I was done breathing my baby’s head was out. With one more push a minute or two later my baby boy was emerging from the water and resting on my belly.
From there I exited the tub to deliver the placenta which was a bit of challenge for me. Sybille administered some Pitocin to help the process, encouraging my uterus to contract. Once that was over it was about 5pm, the sun was beginning to set and I couldn’t believe how quickly it seemed that the hard work was over. Sybille sutured a small tear that I didn’t even know was there. I never felt the tearing during the birth which I had feared. Meg helped me to a shower and then I was resting by a fire with my parents, Aaron, Sybille and Meg. Sybille performed the newborn assessment and we all looked on with amazement at the new little creature in front of us.
By 8pm I was tucked into bed with my little family. It was a powerful day and I slept soundly that night feeling proud of my decision to birth at home. I didn’t care anymore what anyone thought about our choice, I knew in my heart that it was the right one for us. Giving birth was an empowering, beautiful, peaceful experience for me in which I felt safe and well cared for. I wish everyone could have the same experience that I did. We will be forever grateful to Sybille and Meg for their love, support and guidance as we became a new family.
Casey
There aren’t many words to adequately describe the sense of empowerment and intense emotional experience that accompany the birth of your first (or any, I imagine) child. The experience I had was so personal and yet felt so universal, so much the role of goddess in everyday woman. My entire pregnancy had been relatively easy, healthy and free of complication, just filled with the excitement of becoming a mother, love for my husband and comfort working with Sybille and Alice. We chose to have the birth at my mother’s house because of her large bathtub as we wanted to have a water birth. This however, did not transpire as I happened to be out of the tub (on the toilet no less) when the urge to push arrived. The entire 8 hours of labor had been spent pretty much immersed in warm water with Steve caressing me and encouraging me through the rushes while Sybie and Alice checked on us periodically and my mum roasted a turkey in the kitchen. It was rather festive really, a beautiful warm June day and evening. After a few pushes Sybille got me down on my knees very quickly and in my mind was the thought (shoulder distocia) (too much reading) and I knew I had to push him out now. Which I did. But he was so quiet and just flopped on my back and all I could see was Steve’s terrified looking face. 
No one had actually informed him how much blood and goo accompanies a child into this world. And then Torin coughed, and Sybie said “your baby’s fine you’re fine, turn over and hold him” and there is nothing, simply nothing to compare with that moment of first beholding this little tiny being and the immense rush of love. The cord had been wrapped around his neck , Steve told me after, and he said watching Sybie unravel it as he came out was so impressive and reassuring. He needed a little oxygen but he pinked up quite nicely and has been the awesome little guy in my life ever since. We are pregnant with our second now and pretty excited once again.
Rie
I My first birthing experience was as positive as was possible given the circumstances. I tried to have a homebirth, but our baby boy simply would not come out. After six hours of being fully dilated and trying to push, but not really feeling the urge, I was exhausted. Sybille, my midwife, and her backup, Alice, had tried every trick in the book. I was in all sorts of positions, standing, squatting, running up and down the stairs, head and knees pose, the baby simply would not come.
Sybille decided that it was time for me to go into the hospital, which was fine with me at that point. The hospital had been informed that I was coming in, so the experience was very calm and routine. I ended up having a C-section, which was a welcome relief by that time. As it turned out, my son, Ellery, had managed to wrap the umbilical cord around his neck several times and had a short umbilical cord to begin with. He never descended fully into the birth canal.
Looking back on the experience, I am still glad to have tried to have a homebirth. Had I been in the hospital the entire time, I probably would have labored just as long in an environment that I don’t believe I would have been as comfortable in. Also, I had the option of eating to keep up my energy level. I could move around as I wanted to. Sybille could monitor the fetal heart tones in between contractions without my being attached to a monitoring device. I’m glad to have labored at home.
Thanks in large part to my positive experience with Sybille and her encouragement and support during my first pregnancy, I decided to try for another homebirth with my second pregnancy. VBACs (vaginal birth after cesareans) are often discouraged by the medical community in the U.S. My doctor balked when I told him I was interested in doing a homebirth VBAC. I did a lot of research on it, and I decided that it was the right choice for me even though I would have to go to Western Massachusetts to find hospital backup for a homebirth VBAC.
(Sybille had recommended using a certain homebirth midwife in that area who had “VBAC friendly” medical back-up. Rie and family then moved to Amherst for the month around her due date.)
My second birthing experience was dramatically different. At about four in the morning I woke up with contractions. I knew this was the real thing. I’d felt contractions before, and these were not going away. At first I started trying to get things organized for the midwives, because everything was packed away in a closet (Lucius caught us off guard by being so early). I soon remembered the advice that Sybille had given me a couple years ago and that what I should really do is go back to bed.
About an hour later, I woke up my partner, Bruce, and asked him to call the midwife, Tanya. He was half asleep and couldn’t believe that I was in labor already. “But you’re not due for two more weeks,” he said, incredulously. About fifteen minutes later, I asked him to call the midwife again and tell her to step on the gas. The contractions were intense, and I was already feeling the urge to push – something that I had never felt while in labor with Ellery. Before I could even think about it, the Tanya and her backup had arrived and I was pushing away with their guidance. Thanks to a great birthing stool, I got into the right position and was given the physical support I needed to push Lucius out. The midwives gave me the encouragement and guidance that I needed. At the moments when I had the slightest hesitation and doubt, they affirmed, “This baby is coming out.” It may not seem like much, but for someone who has tried once without giving birth vaginally, it was enormously potent to hear.
When it was time, the midwives rallied my strength, “O.k., now it’s time to really push.” Hadn’t I been pushing for hours now? Within a few contractions and with a lot of effort and my remaining energy, I got Lucius out. What a wonderful thing, to get up in the morning, have a baby, and go back to bed. The midwives made breakfast for Bruce and I and left us alone for a while to enjoy our new baby. Lucius came so quickly that Sybille did not have time to make it up to Western Mass., and I’m sorry that it was the first birth she’s ever missed.
(No need to be sorry! – I knew you were in good hands. I would have loved to have been there too but so am so happy that you were able to have your homebirth! – Sybille)
Rachel
Becoming a mother has had a huge impact on my life, and the care and attention given by Sybille during our homebirths was wonderful. Not only was the quality of care superb, but I felt like the most special person in the world during my pregnancy and birth. I especially appreciated the attention to maternal nutrition that I feel is missing from hospital births. My homebirths with Sybille were almost a spiritual experience, and a wonderful bridge to parenthood.
Leah
Throughout my pregnancy, Sybille did a great job making sure she knew exactly how I was feeling, physically and mentally. Sometimes she even called me out of the blue between appointments to ch check up on me. There were times when I was nervous and anxious about my upcoming birth, and whether or not she meant to, she encouraged me to have faith
I’d have to say though, I really saw Sybille get in her zone once I went into labor. I had a fast labor & delivery for a first-time-mother, and it was pretty intense (as all birth is). And all I wanted was quiet! No talking, no joking, no massaging me. I didn’t even have to tell Sybille. She was wonderfully calm and confident throughout the entire birth. I’m so thankful to God that he used Sybille to care for me, and that He gave us a healthy baby girl.” – Leah Mencer, May 16, 2008
Elizabeth
I have had two home births with Sybille Andersen.The first was my daughter Annabel. I had back labor and Sybille must have gone numb from rubbing my lower back for eight hours! After Annabel was born her father made us all breakfast, and I ate as my three year old son held his hour old sister.
Five years later Sybille ‘caught’ my daughter Ruby after three days of labor. At the end, I was tired and weepy. As I labored backwards on the toilet, I leaned into Sybille’s arms and she kept saying, “You are doing so well. You are doing so, so well.” I felt very nurtured and safe.
With both births Sybille’s presence was very comforting as well as professional and confident. Because we were home, I was the first person to hold my daughters, and mine was the first face they saw.
I had my first child, Jono, in a hospital with a Doula and that was fine, but I was treated like a “patient” and my son’s birth like a medical procedure. It was different with the girls. Sybille regards birth as a natural process and the laboring woman as strong, capable and empowered.
Joan
My husband, Jacques, and I took a long, circuitous route to get to a homebirth with Sybille. We started by looking off-island at a birthing center and at a highly regarded obstetrical practice. In each case we were concerned about the logistics of getting off of Nantucket to give birth and about the ensuing disruption to our lives. At the obstetric practice I met with a different doctor for each 10-15 minute appointment. Some of them I liked and connected with, some I did not. When the time came to tour the facilities at the hospital I cried. The nurses seemed so proud of what they had created. I saw alot of machines, linoleum and strangers. The birthing center was a better fit until I was chastised for asking for what I wanted regarding my care. By this time I was in my seventh month. A homebirth had never occurred to me. I had assumed that I would need lots of help when the time came to give birth. I wasn’t sure that I would be able to do it without intervention. What turned me towards the option of homebirth was a pre-natal yoga class. The instructor reminded us that women have been giving birth for thousands of years, that we have the innate knowledge and the courage to do this. Jacques and I ended up where we began: Nantucket. We met with Sybille and realized that we had found what we wanted: professional, competent care; great respect for the process of birth and total belief in a woman’s ability to do it.
When I went into active labor with our son, Zephyr, Sybille arrived. She was calm, professional, exhilarated and in her element. Sybille is one of the few people I have met of whom I think: She has found her calling. She is doing exactly what she is here to do. She looks like a regular human being until you get her talking about midwifery: then she begins to glow. During labor I felt supported, respected and trusted. The experience was very internal and I was allowed to stay in that place. Five hours later our son was born. Afterwards, Sybille made me scrambled eggs and helped me to take a shower. We saw her the next day, frequently after that and always had the support of her being a phone call away.
The birth of our daughter, Aurora (Scooby), took place two and half years later. I had spent most of my labor with Zephyr in a large tub. Scooby was born in the water. Immediately after her birth she unfolded her arms and legs while she floated under water and looked around. My mother had come to help with our son and was amazed by the differences between what she saw and what her own experiences had been 35-40 years ago. Grandmother and granddaughter met soon after Scoobs was born. There were no policies or procedures that kept our family apart. We laid the baby down on the kitchen counter and crowded around to admire her. My mom’s dog, Scarlett, put her paws up on the counter, sniffing and trying to lick her. Scarlett couldn’t stay away. She would whine and pace when Scooby cried and kept trying to lick her. My guess is she had never seen such a new baby either.
Our children, now seven and five, know just where in the house they where born, Scooby in the tub in the living room and Zephyr on the floor by the door. They know about the neighbors congratulating my husband the day after Zephyr’s birth (sound does travel … ). We see Sybille at the grocery store or walking her dogs and they know that “she helped me be born”.
Kaity’s & Iley’s Story
Needless to say, I couldn’t sleep much. I finally was able to pass some gas and felt better by the morning. Late in the morning I started feeling cramping in my abdominal area similar to menstrual cramps. I didn’t think much of it because it wasn’t painful and thought maybe they were practice rushes. I hadn’t felt any up until that point. I didn’t realize it but I was in early labor. 
By late afternoon the cramping started to become more intense and I texted Sybille to see what she thought. Around 5 pm I was feeling like this could be it and my mother-in-law ran a bath for me to sooth the back pain I was having. I called Sybille and she came over to check me. I think I was 3-4 centimeters dilated by then. The birthing pool had not been set up yet (we were planning on doing it that week) so my husband worked on readying the pool. Sybille left to get her supplies and returned soon with Annie. I had terrible pain in my lower back, which I thought was odd because we thought the baby was anterior position. Sybille and Annie were so helpful in easing my back pain with massage. My rushes seemed to come one after the other with little rest time between them. I labored in the pool but was not comfortable sitting in one position for too long. I moved to the bathroom and leaned over the sink for a time and also sat on the toilet. My water had broken high on the sac and the amniotic fluid was trickling out. There was meconium in my fluid and Sybille did regular heart tone checks with the Doppler to make sure the baby wasn’t stressed and that I would be able to continue with the home birth. In the early hours of morning Sybille had tried to get me to rest so I laid down on the bed and tried to sleep between rushes but they were so close together it was not easy to do so. I think I managed some rest though, which was needed to keep laboring. Sybille checked me around 5 am and I was 8 cm dilated and the sac was bulging at my cervix so she asked if I wanted to have my waters broken to speed things along since I was so tired. I agreed and soon after that I felt the urge to push. I pushed in the pool for some time but did not feel comfortable and moved to the bed. We tried different positions but ultimately I sat against my husband when Iley was born. I pushed for about 3 hours and Sybille coached me on how to breathe more effectively, even though I felt like I was doing all I could. I reached down deep and let out some sounds that I didn’t know were humanly possible but they seemed to do the trick. Iley was born just before 8 am and showed good vitals. Most everyone had thought it would be a girl and I was surprised and elated to have a little boy in my arms! At that moment I was so high and happy at what an accomplishment he was!
Sybille tended to both of us and we waited for the placenta to be born. I did not feel any urge to push, in fact I did not feel much down there except for a stinging sensation from a large tear that occurred while he was crowning. I was bleeding a bit more than I should so Sybille injected a dose of pitocin to prevent hemorrhage and to help contract my uterus but still no placenta. The bleeding slowed down and we waited and waited. Sybille tried several other remedies and then another dose of pitocin 56 minutes later. I was a bit concerned by these drugs but they were administered in small doses and honestly by that point I didn’t care, I just wanted to finish up. My placenta came out with one push 1 hour and 40 minutes after Iley was born. Sybille thoroughly inspected it to make sure it was complete and that none of it had stayed in my uterus.
During those nearly 2 hours I did not get to hold Iley that much or nurse him. He did not seem to want to nurse when we tried. Those hours went by so fast I didn’t even realize how long it was. Sybille looked at my tear and was not comfortable suturing it so she consulted with our back-up physician who agreed to see us and do the repair in her office. When we got there Sybille stayed with me and my husband stayed outside with Iley because we did not want to bring him in the hospital. I was on the examining table for quite some time and had to be catheterized with a baby catheter because I was so swollen, and that took 45 minutes. Finally the doctor and Sybille worked together and sutured me. My husband called me and said that Iley would not stop crying and seemed hungry, so I told him to come in and I tried to nurse him but he wouldn’t latch. Because there had been meconium there was also some concern about Iley. Our doctor wanted to check him out of course. He seemed “grunty” and his breathing seemed a bit stressed. At one point while Sybille was holding him he was quiet but became bluish in color. They were concerned so they rushed him out of the room to check his oxygen saturation with a pulse oximiter. Upon further observation our doctor told me that we should bring him to the ER and have an X-ray taken to see if there was fluid in his lungs. I was scared as we headed down to the ER. All of a sudden we were thrown into this scary situation and pretty much lost all control over what happened next.
There were lots of nurses and doctors talking to me and handling Iley. One doctor came in and said she spoke with Children’s Hospital in Boston and they were ready to have us medivac’d out by helicopter. I was shocked and said that we were only going to have an X-ray taken to see if there was something in his lungs first. She looked disturbed and left. Well, they did the X-ray and there was indeed something, most likely fluid, in his lungs. Poor guy swallowed some in the birth canal. The hospital was not equipped to monitor him so we had no choice but to leave island. By that time we were unable to be flown out because of a tornado warning in Boston-what?! A medical team from the NICU at Tufts Medical Center in Boston took an ambulance to Hyannis and then the fast ferry to Nantucket with an isolate unit. Meanwhile, at the ER they tried to put an IV in Iley since he had not eaten all day and would soon become dehydrated. Unfortunately they couldn’t find a vein (it’s not easy on a newborn because they are so tiny) and couldn’t get one in place, but Iley still was pricked 7 times with the needle. I was going crazy hearing him screaming right next to me but unable to help him. I was also a little distraught by the man named “Steve” in casual clothing who was doing most of the neddle jabbing. My doctor was very kind though and stayed with us until we departed on the ferry, which, by then it was 9 pm. My mom had arrived on island from CT around 4:30 pm and by then Sybille had left because the ER staff asked her to leave – and there was not much more she could have done. I was happy to have her up until then though. My husband and mom went home to pack a bag for us for the hospital stay in Boston. We took an ambulance to the ferry and I got to hold Iley during that time which felt sooo good but bittersweet. The medical team placed an IV in Iley and made sure he could travel on the ferry. On the ferry he was in the isolate and I had lain down to rest…I still hadn’t showered after the birth and was exhausted. I fell right asleep and my mom was worrying about my health at this point, because that had been forgotten about once Iley was in distress. I was weak, had had little to eat, and had lost a fair amount of blood. Regardless of my condition I was not allowed to ride in the ambulance to Boston because I was a liability in their eyes.
This broke my heart to be separated from Iley but I had to do it. We did not get to Tufts until 1AM. Iley was already set up and being monitored by the staff on duty. They insisted in giving him antibiotics as a precaution in case of infection. Again I went along with it; I had no choice really. His tests came back negative for infection so he was taken off antibiotics 2 days later. They also asked about putting drops in his eyes and if we wanted to vaccinate him as if they were shocked I hadn’t done so already. I felt like we were being judged because I had a planned homebirth. Most of the home birth babies they see there are unintentionally birthed at home so on his discharge papers they wrote “homebirth” along with “transient tachypnea” as his diagnosis. But in reality – he didn’t really have a clear diagnosis because it was unclear if meconium was in his lungs or just fluid, which is not so unusual.
While we were there we were able to stay in the parent rooms on the NICU floor, which was very convenient but they were not clean. It was not the shower I had imagined after giving birth let’s just say. And my bottom was so sore from the tear and apparently from an out of place tailbone I later found out. That first night I was too tired to pump but did so diligently in the following days. I was able to start breast-feeding on day 3 and Iley got the hang of it soon after. He developed jaundice and we couldn’t leave until his bilirubin level came way down. When we left Nantucket I had only envisioned being away for a couple of days, I quickly realized that once your baby is admitted to the NICU it’s not easy to be released. It’s a liability if something were to go wrong once you leave I guess. It was really hard seeing my baby hooked up to all sorts of equipment and instruments. He was pricked and prodded left and right. He basically just needed monitoring and also was put under lights that mimic sunlight to bring down his bilirubin level. I also breast-fed him vigorously so that he could pass the bilirubin through his stool and urine.
At the NICU the nurse and doctors change every 12 hours. This made it kind of difficult because each one had a different opinion on things. Like breast-feeding for instance, one nurse said to do it every 4 hours when another said every 2 hours. It was confusing because I hadn’t even thought about scheduling breast-feeding; I thought I would do it on demand. That would be impossible there though because you can’t be with your baby 24/7. One nurse talked down to me as if were a child, even though she seemed younger than me. She wasn’t seeing enough urine in his diapers (yes, they weighed his diapers!) and started talking about supplementing his feedings. I was not having it though…thanks, but no! I literally could not wait to get out of there. I had more than a few “good” cries that week. I liked some of the nurses though. There was this overused machine that monitored his breathing constantly, sometimes he would “destat”, they called it, when I was breast feeding him, but if you think about it you can’t breathe perfectly when you’re also just learning how to eat. So on the day we were cleared to leave he had to sit in his car seat and be monitored for an hour to make sure he didn’t destat. I think they were a little aggressive in the monitoring his every heartbeat, breath and so on.
I worried about what might be done to him when I wasn’t present. One morning a woman came in a said that he failed his hearing test in one ear and wanted to schedule a more detailed test in a week. I never consented to a hearing test and did not want to return to Boston for one. They were adamant that we schedule one and I did so for fear that not doing so would keep us there longer. When I confronted the doctor on call about it she said that every baby gets tested as routine, I asked what else they did to him with out my knowledge or consent and she assured me that was it and anything else would be asked first. His hearing is fine by the way. We were finally released the following Sunday and I was so happy to be leaving with my healthy baby boy.
By the end of the week I felt weak from exhaustion, poor nutrition (hospital take out food-yuck!), and the emotional roller coaster we had just been on. When we got off the ferry back to the island and greeted my husband (he came back a day early to clean up the house and have nice food waiting for me) I just burst into tears uncontrollably; it was cathartic!
Sybille came and checked on us and looked at my sutures a few times over the weeks after his birth. I was still feeling intense pain in my bottom although my tear was healing, and it felt high up on my buttocks. I went to the chiropractor and she said my sacrum was locked in place and that my tailbone was pushed to one side. When Iley passed through the birth canal he pushed my tailbone out of place because it couldn’t move freely. She said that if my sacrum had been locked before the birth that it could have caused back pain during labor. I think this was the case and Iley became stressed trying to pass through my locked sacrum, causing him to pass meconium in the birth canal. If I am ever pregnant again I will make sure to visit the chiropractor before the birth, and I urge every pregnant woman to do so, it may save you a lot of pain and time in labor! A skilled chiropractor can adjust your pelvis so that it is open and moving freely before you go into labor.
I am so grateful to have Sybille as a resource for women on this island. I know that if I went to the hospital to birth that there was a good chance of me having a cesarean section because once they see meconium in your fluid they want to speed your labor along and your given a time limit for labor, which means your definitely going to have medical interventions. And, unfortunately, VBAC is currently not an option for women here.
I learned so much about my body and myself during my birth experience. I also got a taste of what hospital birth would be like and it only reassured me of my belief that home is best!
Wendy
I consider myself extremely lucky to have had Sybille present at the births of both of my children. Evelyn was born in Nantucket Cottage Hospital in 1997 with Sybille present in a supportive doula role. Owen was born at home in 2000.
It’s wonderful to read the other testimonials and remember what it was like to give birth for the first time. It was more painful, joyful, intense, and miraculous than I thought I could possibly bear. That feeling has faded, so it’s amazing to bring it back right now. Sybille’s incredible wisdom had a lot to do with how profoundly we were able to experience those magical times.
When deciding where to have my first baby, I was interested in homebirth but was not confident enough to go against my 
family and friends who were shocked at such a notion. The compromise I settled on was to have the baby in the hospital, but naturally, and with Sybille there for me. This was not her first choice, nor was it the doctor’s. I give them both a great deal of credit for being open-minded enough to accommodate my wishes. Sybille helped me stick to my original plan of a drug-free birth. In the end, after 21 hours of labor, the doctor used a vacuum thing (I’ve forgotten the term) on Evelyn’s head and yanked like crazy to get her free – lots of blood, lots of stitches, lots of incredulity on Sybille’s part, but a perfectly beautiful baby girl.
I knew the second time would be different, because I had the confidence and experience I lacked the first time and knew I would be at home. Sybille had said that mammals like to give birth in private. She had also told me that being in the hospital can often be the cause of problems, so statistics about how many births are problematic are misleading. Both statements made perfect sense to me after my hospital experience, and I think they are linked. Having such a private experience turned into a very public spectacle is a huge stress at a time when you desperately need reassurance and comfort. I wanted to be comfortable, safe, and most importantly in control for my second birth.
That proved to work like a charm for me. My water broke at about 3:20 am and Owen was born at 5:00 am – one hour and a half start to finish! I sat on the toilet, a trick I now recommend. I seriously doubt I could have gotten to the hospital even if I’d wanted to, so thank goodness Sybille was there. When Evelyn woke up a few hours later she had a brother and none of us could believe it had gone so smoothly. What a contrast it was to the previous experience.
Another thing I’d like to add about Sybille’s care is the quality of her attention during both pre-natal and post-natal visits. Being in her soothing home and soaking up her knowledge gave a powerful boost to my sense of security at that time. (I also took her pre-natal classes, which were invaluable.) That connection continues still when she holds potlucks for the families she’s touched in this beautiful way, usually when someone new is about to join us. She genuinely cares for her people, and that’s rare in this world. We love Sybille for the elevated consciousness and respect she brought to our lives. I wish the same quality of experience for all pregnant women.
Michelle’s Homebirth
I found out I was pregnant for the first time while living on Nantucket Island. My boyfriend (a 5th generation Nantucket native) and I had plans to move off island after the summer and even after hearing the news, we decided to try and stick to that plan. After only a month or so of off-island traveling, we quickly realized there was nowhere else in the world we’d rather have our baby. So we moved back to the island when I was entering my third trimester. I knew I wanted a natural birth from the very beginning and soon after discovering I was pregnant, I began the endless amounts of birth research. I watched countless documentaries and read tons of books about birth and how it had changed over the past century. I read a lot about birth practices in other countries and how our country’s birth system compared to theirs. Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin really confirmed the fact that I wanted a natural birth (I thought that a homebirth would be perfect), so after arriving back to the island we began to research our options on Nantucket. We both really wanted a homebirth after reading all of the testimonials on Sybille’s website but because of financial reasons, I began to doubt myself and my desire for that beautiful birth I had envisioned. My health insurance wouldn’t cover a homebirth, and our traveling had somewhat depleted our funds. The decision between calling Sybille and “settling” on a (hopefully natural) hospital birth weighed in my mind. The indecisiveness began to really upset me and I remember feeling completely out of control of my own birthing process. I had been meeting with a doctor at the Nantucket Cottage Hospital for my prenatal visits who was nice and very supportive of my desire for a natural birth, but I decided to meet with Sybille and see how our first meeting went.
I remember reading that if the baby was discovered to be breech before the 36th week, it would be easier to assist the baby in turning head down. Having done a ton of research, I had many little concerns about things that would prevent me from having a natural birth in the back of my mind. I wanted to know more about my baby and my body. I brought up all my concerns (including this one) with my doctor and he took the time to sit back down and answer all of my questions, but I still wasn’t settled by the answers. During my first meeting with Sybille, we talked for more than an hour at her house. She provided me with in-depth answers that really made me comfortable. When I brought up my breech concern, she offered to show me how the baby was positioned in the womb. She showed me where the baby’s back was, where it’s bottom was, and where it’s head was (babe’s head was down)! I felt like Sybille had already formed a connection with my baby, which meant so much to me. She also made me feel more in tune with my body and baby in that single first meeting than I had felt throughout my entire pregnancy. I left Sybille’s house that day feeling so much more confident and in control, I knew that a homebirth was exactly what I wanted.
Zak and I talked over the week about where the funds would come from and how we would manage it, but as soon as we officially decided to go with the homebirth (which we even flipped a coin for, once that coin’s in the air you know what you really want) I began to feel so positive. My meetings with Sybille were so different than my pre-natal appointments with the doctor, she lent me videos and books and got to know me and my baby. We talked about everything, including the pregnancy, everyday stresses, and what was happening in my life. She showed me videos of births and talked to me about her experiences. She trusted in my body which made me feel like I could do the same. I gained so much confidence as a woman in that last month and a half of my pregnancy. I feel as if Sybille became a friend through those prenatal appointments and I knew we had made the right decision.
My entire pregnancy seemed to follow every textbook standard, and I knew it. The first day of my missed period, I knew something was different and went to get a pregnancy test. It was positive. At my first sonogram, I told the nurse that I knew for certain that I was exactly 12 weeks. As soon as she measured my little fetus, she agreed and said I was exactly 12 weeks according to his (although I didn’t know it was a “he” at that point) measurements. I knew throughout my pregnancy that it was a boy, but knew I’d be happy either way. My original due date was the 28th but during my second sonogram I was told it was the 26th. Zak and I joked that I was most likely going to go into labor on my due date, but since that was rare for first time moms we didn’t really expect it.
On April 26th, I remember feeling something was different with my body. I told Zak as he left for work that morning that the babe was coming that day. Later on, I went to visit Nantucket’s doula Sunny. We had hoped she’d be able to attend our birth with Sybille and her assistant Annie since she had also become a friend through childbirth classes and pre-natal appointments. We had snacks and talked about birth, babies, art, and life. When I left, I told her that I was going into labor that night. It came out as a joke but 6 hours later, I was in labor.
I called Sybille at about 9:30 that night, when the contractions started along with a few other signs that this was the real thing (bloody show!). Sybille told me that I should try and sleep through the night and that I should call if the contractions became too much or too close together. I tried for the entire night to sleep, but couldn’t. I probably slept for about an hour. Zak was really awesome, he managed to sleep between my contractions and if one was particularly unbearable he’d sit up to rub my back. At about 4:30 in the morning we called Sybille for the okay to sit in the bathtub. At 8 in the morning, we called her again and she decided it was time! She was at our house soon after and began to set up the birthing tub.
Sybille was definitely in her zone while I was in labor. After about an hour, she asked if I wanted to see how far along I was. I desperately wanted to know and promised not to be disappointed if I wasn’t as dilated as I thought I was. I was 4 cm! Immediately afterwards, my water broke and things really started to progress. Sunny and Annie headed over to the house and I jumped (waddled through contractions, really) into the birthing tub. I was definitely in the zone and don’t really remember Sunny and Annie’s arrival. Everyone was awesome at making me comfortable. I remember having a lot of back pain, but everyone was there to help me through each contraction applying pressure where and when needed. Sybille continued to remind me to stay confident- especially when I would complain about the pain! In the moment, everything seemed like it was lasting forever. I remember some of the contractions towards the end and thinking they would never end.
I remember feeling myself sink into the transition phase trance. Up until this point, the front pain of the contractions had been barely noticeable since my back seemed to hurt more than anything else. Now, the pain was pretty evenly matched. I felt the head move further down into my pelvis. My body knew when it was time to push and I followed its lead. I pushed for a short time in the tub before everyone decided it would be easier to push while on my bed. I waddled between contractions back to the bed (I remember feeling like I had to rush- I wanted to be in my bed before another contraction came). Even though initially I looked at Sybille like she was crazy when she asked me to move from tub to bed, I was really thankful she did. I remember feeling like I wasn’t pushing hard enough or that we weren’t progressing fast enough but once I was on my bed I was able to move differently and push more effectively. I was tired at that point from my lack of sleep the night before and was receiving oxygen, but I wanted that baby out and pushed with all the strength I could muster during contractions.
With only a few more pushes (I don’t quite remember how long it was, but I’m pretty sure it happened fairly quickly), at 12:43 pm, Odin Rainer Bahamut MacKay was born. Everyone sort of gasped at how big he was (it explained a lot about his passage through my pelvis), my little man was born at 10 pounds! Sybille caught him and placed him on my stomach. I was so overjoyed and overwhelmed I didn’t even know if he was a boy or girl for the first 10 minutes of his life! Zak cut the cord and was equally thrilled. He had been by my side the entire time and the birth brought us so much closer. Sybille’s presence made me so much more confident and when I thought I couldn’t do it, she was there to remind me I could and that I would!